FREE MIXING OF OPPOSITE
SEXES AND ITS IMPACT ON MUSLIM SOCIETY
"CONTINUE REMINDING; A REMINDER
BENEFITS THE BELIEVERS"
In
modern western society free mixing, is regarded natural; men and women sitting
together, dinning together, working together and studying together. However,
this was not the case in the past, before the Second World War schools,
colleges and most universities were single sex. Old school buildings still have
entrances with engravings, ‘Boys Entrance’ or ‘Girls Entrance’. However, with
rapid secularisation and disregard for traditional moral values after the
Second World War free mixing has become the norm? In 2006, the last women’s
only college in Oxford University opened its doors to men.
The
Western liberal and promiscuous society with its laxed views on decency and
modesty poses a real challenge to people of faith and particularly to
practising Muslims. In this article I shall examine Islamic principles
concerning free mixing and the biological and social costs of free mixing.
BIOLOGICAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE SEXES
The
Glorious Quran describes the biological relationship and the origin of man and
women in the following manner: “People, be mindful of your Lord, He created you
from a single person and created his partner from him, and then from the pair
He spread countless men and women throughout the world” (Holy Quran Chapter An
Nisa 4: 1). From this, it is understood that both the sexes have come from one
living person, that was Adam (Peace be upon him). So Adam is the first man and
father of humanity. Biologically, we know that all human beings have 23 pairs
of chromosomes of which, one pair determines the sex of the individual; a
female comes from two similar X chromosomes in each cell, whilst a male has one
X and one smaller Y chromosome. This chromosomal difference leads to the sexual
differences in men and women, differences in their bodies, organs and hormones.
Traditionally these anatomical, physical and biological differences between men
and women implied differences in their role and function of the two sexes as
well. Men, hunter-gatherers, workers doing more strenuous work whilst women
cared for and ran the home. There was a complementary in their roles.
The
biological difference between the sexes has important functions of being a
natural magnet between the two, as a source of attraction to one another. The
Quran expresses this eloquently in the following verse: “Another of His signs
is He created spouses from your own kind, in them you find comfort; and He
nurtured love and kindness between you, in that are signs for thinkers” (Holy
Quran Chapter Al Rum 30: 21).
Abdullah
Yusuf Ali makes the following comment: “This refers to the wonderful mystery of
sex. Children arise out of the union of the sexes and it is always the female
that brings forth the offspring, whether female or male”. So there is natural
attraction between the two sexes, scientists have discovered that in addition
to the anatomical differences, another important cause of the natural
attraction is the production of pheromones by the human body, particularly when
they are together. These molecules cause attraction and are thought to also
affect the natural ovulation and menstruation.
So
biologically, there are strong tendencies to free mixing and enjoying the
company of the opposite sex, however it can also be very destructive with
disastrous results; unhealthy extra-marital affairs, rapes, stalking and sexual
harassment. This can also lead to health risks like sexually transmitted
diseases, unwanted pregnancies, illegitimate children and broken families. Very
heavy prices to pay for a momentary pleasure. The scale of these fallouts of
sexual laxity and promiscuity is enormous, effecting perhaps millions of people
in Britain. Not only does this leave physical scars but mental and social scars
on future generations, which leads to further delinquency, social and moral
degeneration.
Free
mixing creates a fertile breeding ground for all kinds of suspicious,
temptations, rumours and even accusations that conflict in families leading to
domestic violence and criminal acts. Free mixing and greater familiarity and
friendship with the opposite sex unconsciously produces attractions as
expressed by an Arabic proverb; “ A look, then a smile, then a meeting and then
… sin and even haram move”.
Modern
society has not properly understood the destructive impact of free mixing on
marriage, family and the very existence of humanity. It is interesting to note
that some people in the West are beginning to recognise the dangers of free mixing
and the benefits of segregation and are turning back to the old ways! This is
seen in the mushrooming of women only schools, hospital wards, holiday resorts,
workplaces, gyms and swimming pools etc. “In this single sex environment, women
are allowed to be women once more and it is more relaxing, safer and better for
women” (Sunday Times 22nd April 2007). The statistics about sexual harassment
further confirm our reservations about a mixed environment, see the latest
papers.
THE ISLAMIC GUIDANCE ON FREE MIXING
The
blessed Messenger (peace be upon him) said, “Whenever a man is sitting alone
with a woman, the devil is the third”. From this the scholars have formulated a
principle that it is forbidden (haram) for a man and a woman to be alone if
they are not mahram. Mahram are all those women that a man cannot marry
including; mother, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, foster-mother, mother in law,
step daughter etc (Holy Quran Chapter Al Nisa: 23).
This
is a precautionary move, when the Quran commands, “Do not even go near
adultery”, it means do not mix freely. The beloved Messenger (peace be upon
him) said: “The eyes, ears and hands all commit adultery by looking listening
and touching”.
Historically,
the single sex environment was the natural and normal way of life for people
all over the world. For Muslims it is also a religious duty. During the time of
the Messenger (peace be upon him), women would attend the congregational prayer
in the Masjid but they would be neither seen nor heard. They would pray in the
back rows, come and go quietly without being noticed. What a peaceful, sublime
and segregated yet united community! In order to help the believers live
virtuously and to avoid evil, Islam lays down the principle of ‘denying the
means’. Adultery and extra marital relationships are forbidden and to help
people from falling into this temptation Islam has closed all those doors that
lead to this evil by making it forbidden.
CORRESPONDING
WITH A STRANGER (NON-MAHRAM) VIA THE INTERNET
This is what has happened between two opposite sexes (you
and a man) who is a non-mahram. Although this non-mahram has might proposed
marriage to you, there are thousands who have not done so with the women whom
they have caught in their traps. The marriages that are built on such
foundations may be susceptible to doubt, suspicion and accusations, and the
marriage may be doomed to failure. Be careful if such happens?
REFERENCES
https://islamqa.info/en/88125
