ASSEMBLED
BY MALLAM ABBA ABANA, KUBWA, ABUJA, NIGERIA
https://web.facebook.com/abba.abana
3rd MAY 2017 – 8th
RAMADAN 1438
Praise be to Allaah; we seek His help and His
forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from
our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and
whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness
that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad (Sallalhu alaihi Wasalam) is
His slave and Messenger.
WOMEN AND MARRIAGE IN ISLAM
What are the rights of the husband and what are the
rights of the wife?
Islam has enjoined upon the
husband duties towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these duties are
some which are shared by both husband and wife. We present Quranic verses relating
to duties and rights of spouse.
1. The Mahr (Dowry). This is the money to which the
wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is completed or
when the marriage is consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to pay
to the woman. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And
give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by
the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” [Holy Quran
Chapter al-Nisaa’ 4:4]
2. The prescription of the
mahr demonstrates the seriousness and importance of the marriage-contract, and
is a token of respect and honour to the woman. The mahr is not a condition or
essential part of the marriage-contract, according to the majority of fuqahaa’;
rather it is one of the consequences of the contract. If the marriage-contract
is done without any mention of the mahr, it is still valid, according to the
consensus of the majority, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“There
is no sin on you, if you divorce women while yet you have not touched (had
sexual relation with) them, nor appointed unto them their Mahr (bridal-money
given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Baqarah
2:236]
3. What is meant by
spending is providing what the wife needs of food and accommodation. She has
the right to these things even if she is rich, because Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“but
the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing
on a reasonable basis” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Baqarah 2:233]
“Let
the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are
restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him” [Holy Quran
Chapter al-Talaaq 65:7]
4. ACCOMMODATION. This is also one of the wife’s
rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation
according to his means and ability. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“Lodge
them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means” [Holy Quran
Chapter al-Talaaq 65:6].
5. Kind treatment. The husband must have a good
attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may
soften her heart towards him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and
live with them honourably” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Nisaa’ 4:19].
“And
they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses)
similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and
respect) to what is reasonable” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Baqarah 2:228]
6. The rights of the
husband over his wife are among the greatest rights; indeed his rights over her
are greater than her rights over him, because Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
“And
they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses)
similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and
respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over
them [Holy Quran Chapter al-Baqarah 2:228]
7. The obligation of obedience. Allaah has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of
the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians
take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that
Allaah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined
upon them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Men
are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of
them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their
means” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Nisaa’ 4:34].
8. The evidence that it is
permissible to discipline one's wife includes the aayahs (interpretation of the
meaning):
“As
to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next)
refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)” [Holy
Quran Chapter al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
“O
you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell)
whose fuel is men and stones” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Tahreem 66:6]
9. The wife should treat
her husband in a good manner, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And
they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses)
similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and
respect) to what is reasonable” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Baqarah 2:228]
Contents Of Discussions Before Full Marriage
Between Man And Woman In Islam.
1)
Why
Marriage to More Than One Woman is permitted for husband in Islam
2)
Husband
is permitted in Marrying More Than One Woman in Islam
3) Husband and Justice Among Wives is A Condition in Islam
4)
Marriage
to the Women of the People of the Book by men
5)
The
Prohibition of a Muslim Woman's Marrying a Non-Muslim Man
6)
Fornicatresses
7) No Temporary Marriage (Mut'ah) for both parties in islam
1.0 WHY MARRIAGE TO MORE THAN ONE WOMAN IS PERMITTED FOR HUSBAND IN
ISLAM[1]
Islam is the last and final word of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, ending the series of His messages to mankind. It therefore came with a general law suitable for all times and places, and for the whole of humanity. It did not legislate for the city dweller only, while neglecting the nomad, nor for the cold regions while ignoring the hot ones, nor for one particular period of time, forgetting later times and the generations to come.
Islam recognizes the needs and interests of all people, of individuals as well as groups. And among human beings one finds that individual who has a strong desire for children but whose wife is barren, chronically ill, or has some other problem. Would it not be more considerate on her part and better for him the marry a second wife who can bear him children, while retaining the first wife with all her rights guaranteed?
Then there may also be the case of a man whose desire for sex is strong, while his wife has little desire for it, or who is chronically ill, has long menstrual periods, or the like, while her husband’s unable to restrain his sexual urge. Should it not be permitted to him to marry a second wife instead of his hunting around for girlfriends?
There are also times when women outnumber men, as for example after wars which often decimate the ranks of men. In such a situation' it is in the interests of the society and of women themselves that they become co-wives to a man instead of spending their entire lives without marriage, deprived of the peace, affection, and protection of marital life and the joy of motherhood for which they naturally yearn with all their hearts.
Only three possible alternatives exist for such surplus women who are not married as first wives:
a) to pass their whole lives in bitter deprivation,
b) to become sex objects and playthings for lecherous men; or
c) to become co-wives to men who are able to support more than one wife
and who will treat them kindly.
Unquestionably, the last alternative is the correct solution, a healing remedy for this problem, and that is the judgement of Islam: And Who is better than Allah in judgement, for a people who have certain faith? (Holy Quran Chapter 5:53 (50) )
For this is the Islamic "polygamy" which people in the West consider so abhorrent and to which they react with such hostility, while their own men are free to have any number of girlfriends, without restriction and without any legal or moral accountability, either in respect to the woman or to the children she may bear as a result of this irreligious and immoral plurality of extra-marital relationships. Let the two alternatives—plurality of wives or plurality of illicit affairs — be compared, and let people ask themselves which is the proper course of action, and which of the two groups is correctly guided!
2.0 HUSBAND IS PERMITTED IN MARRYING MORE THAN ONE WOMAN IN ISLAM
Islam is a way of life consonant with nature, providing human solutions to complex situations and avoiding extremes. This characteristic of Islam can be observed most clearly in its stand concerning the taking of more than one wife. Islam permits the Muslim to marry more than one woman in order to resolve some very pressing human problems, individual as well as social.
Many peoples and religions prior to Islam permitted marriage to a host of women, whose number reached tens and sometimes hundreds, without any condition or restriction. Islam, on the other hand, laid down definite restrictions and conditions for polygamy.
With regard to the restriction, it limited to four the maximum number of wives a man might have. When Ghailan al-Thaqafi accepted Islam, he had ten wives."Choose four of them and divorce the rest,'' (Reported by al-Shafi'i, Ahmad, al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Ibn Abi Shaybah, al-Darqutni, and Bayhaqi.) the Prophet (peace be on him) told him. Similarly, some men who had eight (Reported by Abu Daoud in his Musnad.) or five (Reported by Ahmad, al-Darimi, Ibn Hibban, al-Hakim, and the compilers of Sunan (Abu Daoud, al-Nisai, and Ibn Majah).) wives at the time of embracing Islam were told by the Prophet (peace be on him) to retain only four.
The case of the Prophet (peace be on him), who himself had nine wives, was exempted from this by Allah for the sake of da'wah (the propagation of the message of Islam) during his lifetime and because of the need of the Muslim Ummah after his death.
3.0 HUSBAND AND JUSTICE AMONG WIVES IS A CONDITION IN ISLAM
The condition which Islam lays down for permitting a man to have more than one wife is confidence on his part that he will be able to deal equitably with his two or more wives in the matter of food, drink, housing, clothing and expenses, as well as in the division of his time between them. Anyone who lacks the assurance that he will be able to fulfill all these obligations with justice and equality is prohibited by Allah Ta'ala from marrying more than one woman, for Allah Ta'ala says:...But if you fear that you will not be able to do justice (among them), then (marry) only one....( Holy Quran Chapter 4:3)
And the Prophet (peace be on him) said, Anyone who has two wives and does not treat them equally will come on the Day of Resurrection dragging one part of his body which will be hanging down. (Reported by the compilers of Sunan and by Ibn Hibban and al-Hakim.)
The equal treatment mentioned here pertains to the rights of the wives, not to the love the husband feels towed them, for equality in the division of love is beyond human capacity and any imbalance in this regard is forgiven by Allah Ta'ala who says: And you will not be able to do justice among (your) wives, however much you may wish to. But do not turn away (from one of them) altogether....( Holy Quran Chapter 4:139)
This is why the Prophet (peace be on him) used to divide his time among his wives equally, saying, O Allah, this is my division in regard to what I can control. Then do not take me to task regarding what Thou controllest and I do not control (Reported by the compilers of Sunan.), referring to the attachment and affection which he felt for one particular wife. And when he planned to go on a journey, Allah's Messenger (peace be on him) would cast lots among his wives, and the one who was chosen by lot would accompany him. (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
4.0 MARRIAGE TO THE WOMEN OF THE PEOPLE OF
THE BOOK BY MUSLIM MEN
Islam has made marriage to Jewish or Christian women lawful for Muslim men, for they are Ahl al-Kitab, that is, People of the Book, or people whose tradition is based upon a divinely revealed Scripture. Although they have distorted and altered it, they do possess a religion of divine origin, and hence Islam has made some exceptions in dealing with them. The Qur'an says: ...And the food of those who were given the Scripture (before you) is permitted to you and your food is permitted to them. And (lawful to you in marriage are) chaste women from the Believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture before you, when you give them their due cowers, desiring chastity, not lewdness or secret intrigues....( Holy Quran Chapter 5:6: (5) )
Tolerance of such a degree is a characteristic of Islam which is hardly to be found among other faiths and nations. Despite the fact that Islam takes the People of the Book to task for their unbelief and error, it permits the Muslim to marry a Christian or Jewish woman who may, as his consort, the mistress of his house, the mother of his children, the source of his repose, and his companion for life, retain her own faith—all this, while the Qur'an says concerning marriage and its mystique, And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell with them in tranquility, and He has put love and mercy between you....( Holy Quran Chapter 30:21)
However, a warning is in order here. In order of preference, a believing, practicing Muslim woman who loves her religion is preferable to a nominal Muslim woman who has inherited Islam from her parents. The Prophet (peace be on him) said, "Get the one who is religious and prosper." (Reported by al-Bukhari.)
It is also obvious that a Muslim woman, regardless of who she is, is better suited to a Muslim man than a woman of Christian or Jewish faith, regardless of her merits. If a Muslim man has the slightest suspicion that a non-Muslim wife might affect the beliefs and attitudes of his children, it becomes obligatory on him to exercise caution.
If the number of Muslims in a country is small—for example, if they are immigrants residing in a non-Muslim country—their men ought to be prohibited from marrying non-Muslim women because, since Muslim women are prohibited from marrying non-Muslim men, their marriage to non-Muslim women means that many Muslim girls will remain unmarried. Since this situation is injurious to the Muslim society, this injury can be avoiby temporarily suspending this permission.
5.0 THE PROHIBITION OF A MUSLIM WOMAN'S
MARRYING A NON-MUSLIM MAN
It is haram for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man, regardless of whether he of the People of the Book or not. The saying of Allah Ta'ala, ...And do not marry (your girls) to idolaters until they believe....( Holy Quran Chapter 2:221)
And He said concerning the immigrant Muslim women, ...Then if you know them to be Believers, do not send them back to the unbelievers. They are not halal for them (as wives), nor are they halal for them (as husbands). (Holy Quran Chapter 60:10).
No text exists which makes exceptions for the People of the Book, hence, on the basis of the above verses, there is a consensus among Muslims concerning this prohibition.
Thus, while a Muslim man is permitted to marry a Christian or Jewish woman, a Muslim woman is not allowed to marry a Christian or Jewish man. There are many sound reasons for this difference. First, the man is the head of the household, the one who maintains the family, and he is responsible for his wife. And while Islam guarantees freedom of belief and practice to the Christian or Jewish wife of a Muslim, safeguarding her rights according to her own faith, other religions, such as Judaism and Christianity, do not guarantee the wife of a different faith freedom of belief and practice, nor do they safeguard her rights. Since this is the case, how can Islam take chances on the future of its daughters by giving them into the hands of people who neither honor their religion nor are concerned to protect their rights?
A marriage between a man and woman of different faiths can be based only on the husband's respect for his wife's beliefs; otherwise a good relationship can never develop. Now, the Muslim believes that both Judaism and Christianity originated in divine revelation, although later distortions were introduced into them. He also believes that God revealed the Taurat to Moses and the Injeel to Jesus, (Taurat refers to the original scripture revealed to the Prophet Moses by God, and Injeel to the Prophet Jesus. These are not to be confused with either the existing Torah or Old Testament, or the four Gospels of the New Testament. (Trans.)) and that both Moses and Jesus (peace be on them) were among the messengers of Allah who were distinguished by their steadfast determination. Accordingly, the Christian or Jewish wife of a Muslim lives under the protection of a man who respects the basic tenets of her faith, her scripture, and her prophets, while in contrast to this the Jew or Christian recognizes neither the divine origin of Islam, its Book, or its Prophet (peace be on him). How then could a Muslim woman live with such a man, while her religion requires of her the observance of certain worships, duties, and obligations, as well as certain prohibitions. It would be impossible for the Muslim woman to retain her respect for her beliefs as well as to practice her religion properly if she were opposed in this regard by the master of the house at every step.
It will be realized from this that Islam is consistent with itself in prohibiting the Muslim man to marry a mushrik woman, for since Islam is absolutely opposed to shirk, it would obviously be impossible for two such people to live together in harmony and love.
6.0 FORNICATRESSES
Here "fornicatresses" (al-zaniyah) denotes women who earn money through prostitution.
It is reported that Marthad ibn Abu Marthad asked the Prophet's permission to marry a prostitute named 'Anaq with whom he had relations during the pre-Islamic period. The Prophet (peace be on him) did not give him an answer until Allah revealed, The fornicator shall not marry anyone except a fornicatress or an idolatress, and the fornicatress shall not marry anyone but a fornicator or an idolater, and that (marrying them) is haram for the Believers. (Holy Quran Chapter 24:3)
The Prophet (peace be on him) then recited this verse to Marthad and said, "Do not marry her." (This story is reported by Abu Daoud, al-Nisai, and al-Tirmidhi.)
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has permitted Muslims to marry chaste believing women or chaste women of the People of the Book. Similarly, He has made marriage lawful to men on the condition that they seek it "in honest wedlock, not in lust." (Holy Quran Chapter 4:24). Accordingly, if someone does not accept this command from the Book of Allah, nor considers it binding, he is a mushrik (Anyone who disobeys or disregards this explicit command of Allah Ta'ala is considered a mushrik or an associator), and no one will agree to marry him except another mushrik. If someone accepts this command as binding, but despite this he marries a fornicatress to whom marriage has been prohibited, he becomes a fornicator himself.
This ayah just cited comes after the ayah prescribing the punishment of flogging for fornicators (This punishment has been prescribed for the unmarried fornicator and his partner, while the punishment of death by stoning, if the crime is proved either by four male adult eye witnesses to the act or by self confession, has been prescribed for the married adulterer and his partner. (Trans.)): Flog the woman and the man guilty of fornication each with a hundred stripes....( Holy Quran Chapter 24:2)
While this is a corporal punishment, the punishment mentioned in Holy Quran Chapter 24:3 is a civil punishment, for depriving fornicators of the right to marry chaste women is like depriving someone of citizenship, nationality, or some other civil right as a punishment for a crime.
Ibn al-Qayyim, after explaining the meaning of the previously-cited verse goes on to say: This explicit injunction of the Qur'an is what human nature and reason demand. Allah Ta'ala prohibits His slave (the Muslim man) to become a pimp to his wayward wife, as He made man's nature with an instinctive abhorrence and contempt for acting as a pimp. This is why, when people want to abuse someone in the most disparaging manner, they call him 'the husband of a whore;' and Allah does not permit the Muslim to be like that.
Further light is thrown on this prohibition by considering the crime of the woman against her husband and society. She defiles the bed of her husband and perverts the lineage which Allah desires to preserve for the integrity and smooth functioning of society, which He counts as one of His favors upon mankind. Adultery leads to the confounding and doubting of parentage. It is thus one of the beauties of the Islamic Shari'ah that it prohibits marriage to a prostitute until she repents and demonstrates that she is not pregnant (that is, until she has a menstrual period in order to ascertain that she is not carrying a child). (lghathat al-Lahfan, vol. 1, pp. 66-67.)
Moreover, a prostitute is a vile and degraded
woman.
Allah has ordained that marriage be a source of affection and mercy between the spouses. How then could a vile woman be the object of love of a virtuous man, since the partners in a marriage must be akin in their ideas, attitudes, and characters if true love and understanding are to develop between them. As vileness and virtue are antithetical to each other both by nature and by considerations of morality, there cannot even be a sympathy, much less love and affection, between the two. Indeed, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has spoken truly in His saying, Vile women are for vile men, and vile men are for vile women; virtuous women are for virtuous men and virtuous men are for virtuous women. (Holy Quran Chapter 24:26)
7.0 NO TEMPORARY MARRIAGE (MUT'AH) FOR BOTH PARTIES IN ISLAM
Marriage in Islam is a strong bond, a binding contract, based on the intention of both partners to live together permanently in order to attain, as individuals, the benefit of the repose, affection, and mercy which are mentioned in the Qur'an, as well as to attain the social goal of the reproduction and perpetuation of the human species: And Allah has made for our spouses of your own nature, and from your spouses has made for you sons and grandsons....( Holy Quran Chapter 16:72)
Now, in temporary marriage (known in Arabic as mut'ah), which is contracted by the two parties to lafor a specified period of time in exchange for a specified sum of money, the above-mentioned purposes of marriage are not realized. While the Prophet (peace be on him) permitted temporary marriage during journeys and military campaigns before the Islamic legislative process was complete, he later forbid it and made it forever haram.
The reason for it was permitted in the beginning was that the Muslims were passing through what might be called a period of transition from jahiliyyah to Islam. Fornication was very common and wide-spread among the pre-Islamic Arabs. After the advent of Islam, when they were required to go on military expeditions, they were under great pressure as a result of being absent from their wives for long periods of time. Among the Believers were some who were strong in faith and others who were weak. The weak ones feared that they would be tempted to commit adultery, a major sin and an evil course, while the strong in faith, on the other hand, were ready to castrate themselves, as stated by Ibn Mas'ud: We were on an expedition with the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him) and did not have our wives with us, so we asked Allah's Messenger (peace be on him), 'Should we not castrate ourselves? (The reason for this request was the desire to maintain their purity of mind and body, which was in danger of being affected by their unmet needs. (Trans.)) He forbade us to do so but permitted us to contract marriage with a woman up to a specified date, giving her a garment as a dower (mahr) (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.). Thus temporary marriage provided a solution to the dilemma in which both the weak and the strong found themselves. It was also a step toward the final legalization of the complete marital life in which the objectives of permanence, chastity, reproduction, love, and mercy, as well as the widening of the circle of relationships through marriage ties were to be realized.
We may recall that the Qur'an adopted a gradual course in prohibiting intoxicants and usury, as these two evils were widespread and deeply rooted in the jahili society. In the same manner' the Prophet (peace be on him) adopted a course of gradualism in the matter of sex, at first permitting temporary marriage as a step leading away from fornication and adultery, and at the same time coming closer to the permanent marriage relationship. He then prohibited it absolutely, as has been reported by 'All and many other Companions. Muslim has reported this in his Sahih, mentioning that al-Juhani was with the Prophet (peace be on him) at the conquest of Makkah and that the Prophet (peace be on him) gave some Muslims permission to contract temporary marriages. Al-Juhani said, "Before leaving Makkah the Messenger of Allah(peace be on him) prohibited it." In another version of the hadith we find the Prophet's own words, "Allah has made it haram until the Day of Resurrection."
The question then remains—Is temporary marriage (mut'ah) absolutely haram, like marriage to one's own mother or daughter, or is it like the prohibition concerning the eating of pork or dead meat, which becomes permissible under real necessity, the necessity in this case being the fear of committing the sin of zina ? The majority of the Companions held the view that after the completion of the Islamic legislation, temporary marriage was made absolutely haram.
Ibn 'Abbas, however, held a different opinion, permitting it under necessity. A person asked him about marrying women on a temporary basis and he permitted him to do so. A servant of his then asked, "Is this not under hard conditions, when women are few and the like?" and he replied, "Yes." (Reported by al-Bukhari.) Later, however, when Ibn 'Abbas saw that people had become lax and were engaging in temporary marriages without necessity, he withdrew his ruling, reversing his opinion. (Zad al-Mi'ad,vol.4,p. 7. Bayhaqi transmitted it and Muslim as well.)
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