CHOOSING FRIENDS IN ISLAM.

CHOOSING FRIENDS IN ISLAM.

BEST COMPANION: When you see him, he reminds you of ALLAH! When you sit with him, it increases your IMAÂN! When he speaks to you, it increases your KNOWLEDGE! When you see his actions, you remember the AKHIRA!

Humans have always been social creatures and in need of friends and companions. A good part of our lives is spent in interaction with others. For Muslims like us who are living in a society where we are clearly a minority, the issue of choosing the right companions is essential for preserving our Deen (Religion). Befriending righteous and virtuous Muslims is a necessary means for staying on the Straight Path. He will correct you and guide you rather than misguiding you.

Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) states in the Glorious Qur'aan:

وَيَوۡمَ يَعَضُّ ٱلظَّالِمُ عَلَىٰ يَدَيۡهِ يَقُولُ يَـٰلَيۡتَنِى ٱتَّخَذۡتُ مَعَ ٱلرَّسُولِ سَبِيلاً۬ (٢٧) يَـٰوَيۡلَتَىٰ لَيۡتَنِى لَمۡ أَتَّخِذۡ فُلَانًا خَلِيلاً۬ (٢٨) لَّقَدۡ أَضَلَّنِى عَنِ ٱلذِّڪۡرِ بَعۡدَ إِذۡ جَآءَنِى‌ۗ وَڪَانَ ٱلشَّيۡطَـٰنُ لِلۡإِنسَـٰنِ خَذُولاً۬ (٢٩) سورة الفرقان

And (remember) the Day when the Zâlim (wrong-doer, oppressor, polytheist, etc.) will bite at his hands, He will say: "Oh! would that I had taken a Path with the Messenger ( Muhammad ). "Ah! woe to Me! would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend! "He indeed led Me astray from the Reminder (this Qur'ân) after it had come to Me. and Shaitân (Satan) is ever a deserter to man In the Hour of need." [Holy Quran Chapter Al-Furqaan, 25 v.27-29]

Keeping righteous practicing Muslim friends is essential for maintaining a healthy spiritual environment in our daily life. Friends affect our Eemaan level. If they are righteous, they will inspire us to increase our knowledge and Eemaan. Conversely, an effective way to downgrade our Eemaan is keeping friends who smoke, drink alcohol, condone or accept lies from Whatsapp postings from people, or never go near religion (maybe except when making a religious 'joke').

Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend." [Reported by Abu Dawood & Tirmidhee]. 

 The Messenger of Allah [said] "Do not keep company with anyone but a believer and do not let anyone eat your food but one who is pious." Abu Dawud (41:4832) 

Mixing with followers of any way other than that of the Guidance results in a change in one's behaviour, morals and conduct. If we accompany such friends, then we inherit their habits, behaviour and perhaps even their religion. Such a Muslim would find himself in a situation where he is willing to hide his or her Islam in front of those who despise it (those whom he considers as friends) and to separate from the believers. When this situation occurs, a point is reached when there is a very slight difference between the Muslim and his wrong-doing companion. Many times a Muslim is encouraged by his friends to do evil and to forget his duties. The result is that Muslims themselves are often ashamed to leave them to perform prayer, their friends thus causing them to clearly deviate from the Right Path.

 "O you who believe! do not take the Jews and the Christians for friends; they are friends of each other; and whoever amongst you takes them for a friend, then surely he is one of them; surely Allah does not guide the unjust people." Holy Quran Chapter Qur'an (5:51). 

"You will see many of them befriending those who disbelieve; certainly evil is that which their souls have sent before for them, that Allah became displeased with them and in chastisement shall they abide." Holy Quran Chapter Qur'an (5:80). 

"Let not the believers Take for friends or helpers Unbelievers rather than believers: if any do that, in nothing will there be help from Allah..." Holy Quran Chapter Qur'an (3:28). 

 "O you who believe! do not take for intimate friends from among others than your own people, they do not fall short of inflicting loss upon you; they love what distresses you; vehement hatred has already appeared from out of their mouths, and what their breasts conceal is greater still; indeed, We have made the communications clear to you, if you will understand." Holy Quran Chapter Qur'an (3:118). 

 "O you who believe! Take not my enemies And your enemies as friends offering them (Your) love even though they have disbelieved in that Truth (i.e. Allah, Prophet Muhammad and this Quran) which has come to you." [Bukhari 59:572]. 

Instead of making friends with the misguided ones we should befriend the righteous but still treat everyone else in a gracious and just manner. 

You have a good example in Abraham and those with him. They said to their nation: 'We are quit of you, and that which you worship, other than Allah. We disbelieve you, enmity and hatred has shown itself between us for ever until you believe in Allah alone. (Holy Quran Chapter 60:4). 

You shall not find a people who believe in Allah and the latter day befriending those who act in opposition to Allah and His Apostle, even though they were their (own) fathers, or their sons, or their brothers, or their kinsfolk; these are they into whose hearts He has impressed faith, and whom He has strengthened with an inspiration from Him: and He will cause them to enter gardens beneath which rivers flow, abiding therein; Allah is well-pleased with them and they are well-pleased with Him these are Allah's party: now surely the party of Allah are the successful ones. (Holy Quran Chapter 58:22). 

O you who believe! do not take your fathers and your brothers for guardians if they love unbelief more than belief; and whoever of you takes them for a guardian, these it is that are the unjust. (Holy Quran Chapter 9:23). 

Taken to mean that one's own relatives should not be taken as friends if they are not Muslim. [Muslim 1:417]. 

In another Hadith, The Prophet (salla Allaahu 'alayhy wa sallam) best described the similitude of the good and bad companions when he said:

"The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows (respectively). So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him." [Reported by al-Bukhaaree in his Saheeh (1959 and 5108) and Muslim in his Saheeh (4762)]. 

In his commentary of this Hadith, Imam an-Nawawi said that the Prophet (peace be upon him) compared a good companion to a seller of musk and spoke of the virtue of having companions who are good, who have noble manners, piety, knowledge and good culture. Such are those who grant us from their virtue. And he (peace be upon him) forbade us to sit with those who do evil, commit a lot of sins and other bad deeds, as well as with innovators, backbiters, and so forth. Another scholar said: "Keeping good company with the pious results in attainment of beneficial knowledge, noble manners and righteous actions, whereas keeping company with the wicked prevents all of that.". 

"It doesn't matter if my friends drink alcohol. That is not going to affect me," some might say. But first, these Muslims are sharing in their friends' evil by simply "tolerating" their drinking habit. And second, their unique power of staying clean of alcohol while their friends drink can only hold weight in their heads. In weeks, or months, they will get used to the behavior of their friends. They will start considering it normal, maybe even cool. And when that happens, during a moment of depression or excitement, they will be pushed into drinking by the encouragement of their great friends. 

Look at your friends; are they bearers of Musk or workers on the bellows? 

Umar (RA) said: "Do not bother about what does not concern you. Remain aloof from your enemy. Be watchful of your friend except he who is trustworthy. For no one among people can compare to a trustworthy person. And there is no trustworthy person except he who fears Allah. Do not befriend an open sinner for he will cause you to commit sin. And do not share your secrets with him. Consult those who fear Allah in all your matters." [Ibn al-Mubarak in az-Zuhd, p.491]. 

“And it has already been revealed to you in the Book (this Qur’aan) that when you hear the Verses of Allaah being denied and mocked at, then sit not with them, until they engage in a talk other than that; (but if you stayed with them) certainly in that case you would be like them” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Nisa’ 4:140]. 

He also says: "Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah)." [Holy Quran Chapter 43:67]