How to deal with bitter criticism

How to deal with bitter criticism

Those who are ignorant have uttered curses at Allah, the Exalted, the Creator of ill that exists, so what treatment should we, who are full of faults, expect from people. You will always have to face criticism, which in its onslaught is like an interminable war: it shows no sign of ending. As long as you shine, give, produce, and have an effect upon others, then disapproval and condemnation will be your lot in life. Until you escape from people by finding a tunnel in the

ground or a ladder leading to the sky, they will not desist from censuring you, from finding fault in your character. For that reason, as long as you are from the denizens of earth, expect to be hurt, to be insulted, and to be criticized.

And here is something you should contemplate: a person who is sitting on the ground does not fall, and people do not kick a dead dog.

Therefore their anger toward you can be attributed to you surpassing them in righteousness, knowledge, manners, or wealth. In their eyes you are a transgressor whose wrongs cannot be atoned for— unless you abandon your talents and strip yourself of all praiseworthy qualities, so that you become stupid, worthless, and to them, innocuous. This result is exactly what they want for you.

Do not expect gratitude from anyone

So remain firm and patient when facing their insults and criticism. If you are wounded by their words and let them have an influence over you, you will have realized their hopes for them.

Instead, forgive them by showing them the most beautiful of manners. Turn away from them and do not feel distressed by their schemes. Their disapproval of you only increases you in worth and merit.

Verily, you will not be able to silence them, but you will be able to bury their criticisms by turning away from them and dismissing what they have to say.

{Say: 'Perish in your rage'.} (Quran 3: 119)

In fact, you will be able to increase them in their rage by increasing your merits and developing your talents. If you desire to be accepted by all and loved by all, you desire the unattainable.

 

Do not expect gratitude from anyone

Allah, the Almighty, created His slaves so that they may worship and remember Him, and He provided sustenance for them so that they may be grateful to Him. Nevertheless, many have worshipped other than Him and the masses are thankful not to Him, but to others, because the characteristic of ingratitude is widespread among human beings. So do not be dismayed when you find that others forget your favors or disregard your kind acts. Some people might even despise you and make you an enemy for no other reason than that you have shown them kindness.

{And they could not find any cause to bear a grudge, except that Allah and His Messenger had enriched them of His Bounty.} (Quran 9: 74)

Do not expect gratitude from anyone

From among the ever-repeating pages of history is a story of a father and his son: the former raised him, fed him, clothed him and taught him; he would stay up nights so that his son could sleep, stay hungry so that his son could eat, and he would toil so that his son could feel comfort. And when the son became older and stronger, he rewarded his father with disobedience, disrespect, and contempt. So be at peace if you are requited with ungratefulness for the good you have done. Rejoice in your knowledge that you will be rewarded from the One Who has unlimited treasures at His disposal.

This is not to say that you should refrain from performing acts of kindness towards others: the point is that you should be mentally prepared for ingratitude.

Perform acts of charity seeking Allah's pleasure, because with this attitude you will assuredly be successful. The ungrateful person cannot really harm you: praise Allah that that person is the

transgressor and that you are the obedient servant. Also, remember that the hand that gives is better than the hand that receives.

(We feed you seeking Allah's Countenance only. We wish for no reward, nor thanks from you. (Qur'an 76: 9)

Many people are shocked at the nature of ingratitude in others, as though they had never come across this verse and others like it: ({And when harm touches man, he invokes Us, lying down on his side, or sitting or standing. But when We have removed his harm from him, he passes on his way as if he had never invoked Us for a harm that touched him!(Qur'an 10: 12)

Hence do not be in a state of agitation if you give someone a pen as a gift and he uses it to satirize you, or if you give someone a walking stick to lean upon and he strikes you with it. As I pointed out earlier, most human beings are ungrateful to their Lord, so what treatment should you and I expect?

Doing good to others gives comfort to the heart

Doing good to others gives comfort to the heart The first person who benefits from an act of charity is the benefactor himself, by seeing changes in himself and in his manners, by finding peace, by watching a smile form on the lips of another person.

If you find yourself to be in difficulty or distress, show kindness to others, and you will be the first to find solace and comfort. Give to the needy, defend the oppressed, help those in distress, and visit the sick: you will find that happiness surrounds you from all directions.

An act of charity is like perfume—it benefits the user, the seller, and the buyer. Furthermore, the psychological benefits that one receives from helping others are indeed great. If you suffer from depression, an act of charity will have a more potent effect on your sickness than will the best available medicine.

Even when you smile upon meeting others, you are giving charity. The Prophet (Blessings and Peace be upon him) said:

"Do not dismiss certain acts of kindness by deeming them to be insignificant, even if (such an act) is to meet your brother with a smiling face (for that is a deed which might weigh heavily in your scale of deeds)."

On the other hand, when you frown upon meeting others, you are displaying a sign of enmity, an act that is so detrimental to brotherhood that only Allah knows the full extent of its evil effects.

The Prophet (PBUH) informed us that the prostitute who once gave a handful of water to a dog was rewarded for that deed with Paradise, which is as wide as the heavens and the earth. This is because the Giver of rewards is Forgiving, Rich, and Worthy of Praise.

O' you, who are threatened by misery, fear and grief, occupy yourself in the betterment of others. Help others in different ways —

Repel boredom with work through charity, hospitality, sympathy, and support. And in doing so, you will find all of the happiness that you desire.

He who spends his wealth for increase in self-purification, and has in his mind no favor from anyone for which a reward is expected in return; except only the desire to seek the Countenance of his Lord, the Most High. He surely will be pleased [when he enters Paradise].

(Quran 92: 18-21)