*REASONS
YOU NEED TO HEED YOUR PARENTS’ ADVICE*
Perhaps there is some truth in feeling that our parents and
elder relatives might not be cognizant of what we are going through. But our
elders do know us better than anyone else does. They have spent far more time
with us than any teachers, coaches or even friends.
If we are patient enough to explain our problems to them,
they can combine their decades of life experience with their knowledge of us
and offer some really helpful advice.
When you may be dreading or avoiding it, here are 6 reasons
to take your parents’ advice and a few tips to make the conversation go down
smoother too.
*1 – HAVE BEEN
THERE, HAVE DONE THAT*
Well, maybe they haven’t made the same mistake they are
about to help you avoid, but they likely know someone who did something
similar. Sometimes it’s unavoidable to learn from our own mistakes, but it’s
great if an elder can steer us clear of something they know for sure is no
good.
*2 – THEY SEE
THINGS DIFFERENTLY – AND THIS CAN BE GOOD!*
Your elders’ judgement, unlike yours, isn’t clouded for
their feelings towards your best friend or based on what your peers may think –
they have healthy detachment from the situation. Looking at things from another
angle, they can offer you fresh eyes on a problem. They will likely see
opportunities and solutions you never could have imagined.
*3 – YOUR
RELATIONSHIP WILL JUST IMPROVE*
This is a truly unexpected aspect of listening to your
elders. The simple act of listening to their advice is a sign of respect.
Feeling respected in turn makes them feel more connected to you. It really
improves your relationship, paving the way for better and better exchanges.
*4 – THEY LOVE
YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE*
Really they do. And while that love is overbearing at times,
still they want the best for you and their advice will reflect that they love
you.
*5 – NO
REGRETS*
If you listen to your elders and take their heartfelt
advice, well then you don’t have to worry about what could have been if you had
just listened.
*6 – OBEYING
PARENTS TAKES YOU TO JANNAH*
Obeying and honoring one’s parents is a means of entering
Paradise. Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) quoted the Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him) as saying:
*“He is doomed, he is doomed, he is doomed.” Then someone
said, “Who, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “The person whose parents, one or
both of them, reach old age during his lifetime but he does not enter
Paradise.” (Muslim)*
Respecting and obeying one’s parents is a way of showing
gratitude to them for bringing one into this world.
Allah the Almighty says,
*“And We have enjoined upon man concerning his parents. His
mother bears him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years.
Give thanks unto Me and unto thy parents. Unto Me is the journeying.” (Luqman 31:14)*
*EFFECTIVE
COMMUNICATION*
To fully benefit from your elders’ advice, you can practice
these communication tips to make things go as smooth as possible:
1 – Ask for clarification.Don’t get their drift? Ask your
adviser to explain themselves. Be patient, this will be worth it.
2 – Don’t interrupt. No, actually you don’t know what they
are going to say before they say it, so just listen, absorb and then respond.
3 – Watch your body language. This could be completely
unintentional, but rolling your eyes, crossing your arms and fidgeting could
all come across as impatience and annoyance to the person trying to advise you
towards the better. So guard your body language.
*THE
SIGNIFICANCE OF OBEDIENCE TO PARENTS*
Islam builds a family in which prevails mutual respect and
care. Parents and children in Islam are bound together by mutual obligations
and reciprocal arrangements. Allah Says (what means): “…No mother should be
harmed through her child, and no father through his child…” [Holy Quran 2: 233]
The Quran has made it compulsory for the child to treat his
parents with all goodness and mercy.
Every Muslim must show goodness and mercy to his parents
throughout their lives. There is only one exception to this, and that is, if
the parents ask their children to associate anything with Allah and to commit
sins, then the children must not obey their parents. In all cases, the children
must show love and gratitude to their parents. They must always speak to them
gently and respectfully. They must try their best to make them happy, provided
they do not disobey Allah in the process.
Allah says (what means): “But if they (both) strive with you
to make you join in worship with me others of which you have no knowledge, then
obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly…” [Holy Quran 31:15]
*BEING PATIENT
AND TOLERANT WITH PARENTS:*
The children must take great care not to react to what their
parents have to say. If they say or do anything which is not liked or approved
of by the children, then they must show patience and tolerance instead of
giving vent to their anger. The children must scrupulously try to refrain from
disobeying their parents since the Prophet regarded this as one of the grave
sins.
*SUPPLICATING
FOR THEM:*
Far from showing signs of displeasure, the children must
pray for them saying, as Allah teaches us in the verse (which means): "…My
Lord and Sustainer! Be kind and have mercy on them as they cherished, nurtured
and sustained me in childhood.” [Holy
Quran 17: 24]
We must continue praying for them even after they die. Such
prayer will be regarded as a continuous charity as the Prophet, sallallaahu
alayhi wa salllam, told us.
*THE GREATER
RIGHT OF THE MOTHER:*
The children must be kinder and more grateful to their
mothers since they took greater pains in their upbringing. That is why the
Prophet emphasized that it is the mother who has the first claim on the child's
care and attention.
Once a companion, may Allah be pleased with him, asked the
Prophet as to whom he should show more kindness. The Prophet replied:
"Your mother." He, may Allah be pleased with him, asked who comes
next and the Prophet again replied: "Your mother." He, may Allah be
pleased with him, asked the Prophet yet again who comes next. The Prophet
replied: “Your mother." When the companion, may Allah be pleased with him,
asked for the fourth time, only then did the Prophet reply: "Your
father."
*RECOGNIZING
THEIR GREAT STATUS:*
The Muslim should recognize the status of the parent and
know his duties towards them. The status of parents in Islam is a status which
mankind had not known before. Allah Has placed the respect for the parents just
one step below the belief in Allah and true worship of Him.
Allah says (what means): “And your Lord has decreed that you
not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of
them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as],
"uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” [Holy Quran 17: 23]
The Prophet placed kindness and respect towards parents just
after the prayer offered on time as the prayer is the foundation of Islam.
'Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood, may Allah be pleased with him, said:
“I asked the Prophet which deed is most liked by Allah? He said: ‘Prayer
offered on time.’ I asked him: ‘Then what? He said: ‘Kindness and respect
towards parents.’…” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
*KNOWING THE
DUTIES TOWARDS THEM:*
It is also the duty of the child to provide for his parents,
if he is able to do so. The Quran sums up the whole matter in a master concept
called Ihsaan, which denotes what is right, good and beautiful (i.e. showing to
them kindness, compassion, gratitude, reverence and respect, praying for them
and supporting them financially if they are in need.)
Concluding, we mention a verse that shows the significance
of obedience and gratitude due to parents: Allah says (what means): “And We
have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him,
[increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be
grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.” [Holy Quran 31:14]
DON’T IGNORE PARENT’S ADVICE
Whenever our
parents gives advice , children thinks that parents don’t know anything about
new fashion and living style. Whenever parents gives advice, children generally
try to ignore it and make sure that their parents understand that children want
to live life their own way.
Ignoring
parent’s old logical advice and giving weird expressions might harm you only,
their advice will surely help you somewhere and that time you will feel guilty
that you never listened to what they want you to teach.
Here are few points
which shows that why you need to listen to your parent’s advice:
1. World Changed To Worst: Most common excuse for ignoring your
parent’s advice and doing what your friends say to you is generation gap. I
agree that world is changing and you need to change with time but you must
listen to your parents also. Your parents might not know about computers or
latest technologies but they have more experience about life. They know that
life is getting tough for kids to handle. Your parents love you and thus want
to save you from changing world, where others can trap you in different kind of
problems.
2. Know World: There are so many news everyday about problems
with teen occurring due to few innocent mistakes. You might get confused while
taking decisions about your life. Who you should listen to? Your parents or
friends? Your parents and friends can be right or wrong but it’s up to you what
you want from your life and you must have ability to take your decision about
fashion, drugs or adventures in life. Best way to take decision is to think
about best and prepare for worst. Once you analysis best and worst, you will
never feel sorry for your decision.
3. Parents Love You: Simple reason
why parents want to help you in taking decisions is because they love you. They
don’t want that the mistakes which they did in their life, you should repeat
it. They want you to live your life with happiness always without regretting
anything in life because of wrong decision. If your parents are successful,
they might have knowledge and experience. Don’t be biased while they advice you
about life and success, their advice will surely help you somewhere in life.
4. Think Of Past, Before Ignoring Your Parent’s Advice: There
are lots of reasons and proofs in your life which shows that you must listen to
your parent’s advice. They always advice you to study well but you always
ignore. When you get fewer marks and face problems in getting jobs, you
remember your parent’s advice. They might have scolded you while teaching you
manners and etiquettes, but because of those manners only you are well known in
your college or office. Thus always listen to parent’s advice and then take
decisions.
God wants you to be perfect and
thus created parents to make you perfect and save you from ruining your life.
Sources
http://www.islamweb.net/en/article/139144/
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