Sunday, 16 February 2020

THINGS THAT BENEFIT THE DEAD PARENTS


THINGS THAT BENEFIT THE DEAD PARENTS (Part 1 of 5)
(Re: AFTER PARENTS’ DEATH – WHAT ARE YOUR DUTIES TO THEM?)
ASSEMBLED BY MALLAM ABBA ABANA, KUBWA, ABUJA, NIGERIA
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Dated THURSDAY 23rd JANUARY 2020 CE and 27th JUMADAL ULA 1441 AH
Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah. As-Salaam Alaikum WA-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu.
Praise be to Allaah; we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad (Sallalhu alaihi Wasalam) is His slave and Messenger.
PREAMBLE
Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Good behaviour towards parents by which one can be courteous to them after their demise are to pray namaz-e-janaza upon them, make dua of forgiveness for them, fulfill their religious bequests, maintain relationship with those relatives linked through them and honour their friends. [Abu Daud] “Charity on their behalf after their death (also) earns reward for them.” [Muslim]
Often we realize the value of something only after it is gone. Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) in His Infinite Grace has provided for us a means to make amends even as late as after the person has already died. This hadith tells us how we can be dutiful to our parents after their death, thereby accruing rewards for both them and ourselves. These ways are:
1. Pray namz-e-janaza for them.
2. Pray to Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) to forgive them.
3. If they had decided to do some religious good e.g. Hajj or Nafl fasts or charitable work, then fulfill it on their behalf.
4. Be kind to those relatives who are linked to us through them.
5. Honour their friends.
6. Give charity on their behalf.
Instead of wailing over our parents, if we truly love them, then we should do good deeds ourselves. This is because we are Sadaqa Jaariya for our parents and they are rewarded for our righteousness.
"And that the human being can have nothing but what he has earned (good or bad)."Holy Quran Chapter 53:39.
Commenting on this ayah Ibn Kathir, rahimahullah, said, "Imam ash-Shafi'i concluded from this ayah that reciting the Qur'andoes not benefit the dead, because it is not from their doing and earning. For this reason, Allah's Messenger, upon whom be peace, did not recommend it to his ummah, encourage them to do it, or guide them to it with a text or a hint. Nor was such a thing reported from any of the sahabah. Had this been any good, they would have preceeded us in doing it. Matters of worship must be limited to the texts, and are not liable to modifications based on analogies and opinions." [Tafsir Qur'an il-'Adhim] It is in general true that one cannot benefit from other people's deeds after his death. But this has important exceptions detailed in this chapter.


CONTENTS OF THIS ARTICLE
1) Preamble
2) Things That Benefit the Dead Parents
3) Dua for Parents (Father and Mother)
4) Janazah Prayer
5) Deeds of Renewed Benefit
6) Charitable Deeds from a Child
a. One's Child Is From His Earning
b. Sadaqah from A Child
c. Haritable Deeds From A Non-Child
7) Claims for Ijma'
8) Dangerous Belief
9) Fulfilling the Deceased's Vows
a. Fasting the Vowed Days
b. Fasting the Missed Days of Ramadhan
10) Guarding In Allah's Way
11) Reviving the Sunnah
12) Question and Answer Session
a. Praying For Deceased Parents
b. He Wants To Benefit His Deceased Father
13) a. A Son’s Prayer for Deceased Parent
14) What Can Benefit The Deceased After His Death? Can He Hear What The Living Say?
15) How Children Can Honour Their Parents
16) Benefitting the Deceased by Giving Charity on His Behalf
17) Settlements of Debts after Death Punishment
18) Summary of advices
19) Sources/Reference
Things that Benefit the Dead parents
Deeds of Renewed Benefit, Charitable Deeds from a Child: One's Child is from His Earning, Sadaqah from a Child, Charitable Deeds from a Non-Child.
Fulfilling the Deceased's Vows: Fasting the Vowed Days, Fasting the Missed Days of Ramadhan.
Guarding in Allah's Way, Reviving the Sunnah
Dua for Parents (Father and Mother)
The following are two Duas from the Quran that one can make for their parents (father and mother). Many other Du’as are listed in the popular Dua book “Duas for Success”
The book also includes English translation as well as transliteration. The power of that book comes from the fact that it has been compiled from many Hadith and Quran sources. See it here once you review the Du’as below)
“My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” [Quran; Surah Al-Isra, Verse 24]
Transliteration:
“… Rabbi irhamhuma kamarabbayanee sagheeran”
“Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established.” [Quran: Surah Ibrahim, Verse 41]
Click to download the book “The Rights of Parents”
Transliteration:
“Rabbana ighfir lee waliwalidayya walilmumineena yawma yaqoomu alhisabu”
May Allah ((Subhanahu Wa Taala) reward you abundantly for your effort in getting across to us beneficial prayers as packaged herein? Only Allah can reward you adequately. And may Allah accept our supplication.
1.0 JANAZAH PRAYER
When the Muslims pray janazah for their deceased brother, they are granted intercession for him. The more the number of Muslims who join in the prayer, the more beneficial it is for the deceased.
This means that Allah takes their testimony and supplication regarding the deceased's apparent actions as a sufficient reason for forgiveness. Since those Muslims who associated with him did not find any major problem to prevent them from supplicating for him Allah, the Most Generous, accepts that and agrees to forgive many of his hidden sins that they did not know. Anas and A'ishah, rahimahullah, reported that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:
"Whenever a (Muslim) person dies, and a group of Muslims numbering one hundred pray janazah for him, all interceding on his behalf, their intercession is granted (by Allah) and he is forgiven."Muslim and others
Ibn 'Abbas, rahimahullah, reported that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:
"Whenever a Muslim man dies, and forty men stand for his janazah prayer, all of them not joining anything with Allah in worship, Allah grants them intercession for him."Muslim and others
Maymunah, rahimahullah, reported that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:
"Whenever a (Muslim) person dies, and a group of (Muslim) people pray janazah for him, they are granted intercession for him."An-Nisa'i, verified hasan by Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami'. no. 5787
Malik ibn Hubayrah, rahimahullah, reported that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:
"Whenever a Muslim dies, and three lines of Muslims pray janazah for him, he is granted forgiveness."Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and others, verified hasan by Al-Hafidh and others; Al-Albani disagrees with this because Muhammad ibn Ishaq one of the narrators is known to be a mudallis (one who is ambiguous in stating his sources) and did not declare direct hearing of this report (Ahkam ul-Jana'iz, 128). Yet the Prophet's, sallalaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, practice of forming three lines for janazah prayer provides a further supporting evidence for this hadith).
2.0 DEEDS OF RENEWED BENEFIT
Any good deed that a Muslim starts during his lifetime, and that is of renewed benefit and ongoing use for the Muslims, will continue to benefit him and augment his record of good deeds, even after his departure - as long as its benefits continue to reach others. Allah, the Most High, says:
"We record that (deeds) which they have put forward and their traces (that which they have left behind)."Holy Quran Chapter 36:12
Abu Hurayrah, rahimahullah, reported that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:
"When a human being dies, all of his deeds are terminated except for three types: an ongoing sadaqah, a knowledge (of Islam) from which others benefit, and a righteous child who makes du'a for him."Muslim and others
Abu Qatadah, rahimahullah, reported that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:
"The best that a man can leave behind after his death are three things: a righteous child who makes du'a for him, an ongoing sadaqah whose rewards continue to reach him, and a knowledge that continues to be implemented after him."Ibn Majah, and others. Verified to be sahih by Al-Mundhiri and Al-Albani
Abu Qatadah, rahimahullah, reported that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:
"Among the good deeds that continue to benefit a believer after death are: a knowledge that he taught and disseminated, a righteous child who lived after him, a Qur'an book that he left as inheritance a masjid that he built, a house that he built for the two wayfarers, a stream that he ran, or a charity that he gave from his wealth during his healthy lifetime so that it would reach him (in rewards) after death."Ibn Majah and others. Verified hasan by Al-Mundhiri and Al-Albani
Commenting on this, Al-Mundhiri, rahimahullah, said:
"Some scholars say that the deeds of a human being end with his death. However, since he had caused these things (which are mentioned in the above ahadith), such as the earning of a child, disseminating the knowledge among those who take it from him, compiling a book that remains after him, or establishing a sadaqah, the rewards of these things continue to reach him as long as they continue to exist."'Awn al-Ma'bud, 8:86
The reason that one continues to receive rewards for these deeds even though they are done by other people, is that he had initiated them during his life or contributed to them to a certain degree, whether little or large. Since Allah does not neglect an atom's weight of deeds, He records these contribution for a person even after his death. Abu al-Wafa' ibn 'Aqil said:
"The best explanation for this in my view is that a human being, by his efforts and good conduct, had earned friends, produced children, married spouses, done good, and was amiable to the people. Because of this, they invoke mercy for him and do good on his behalf. All of this is then a result of his own earning."Ar-Ruh, Ibn Al-Qayyim, p.171
And Rashid Rida, rahimahullah, said:
"Among the deeds that benefit a person, even though they are done by others, are those that count like his own because he caused them, such as his children's supplication for him, or their performing hajj, giving sadaqah, or fasting on his behalf - all of which having been established with authentic ahadith."Tafsir al-Manar 8:247



THINGS THAT BENEFIT THE DEAD PARENTS (Part 2 of 5)
(Re: AFTER PARENTS’ DEATH – WHAT ARE YOUR DUTIES TO THEM?)

3.0 CHARITABLE DEEDS FROM A CHILD
3.1 ONE'S CHILD IS FROM HIS EARNING
The above ahadith indicate that a righteous child benefits his deceased parents with du'a. It is further demonstrated here that he can benefit them by spending sadaqah, as well as doing other charitable deeds, on their behalf. A'ishah, rahimahullah, reported that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:
"Indeed the best that one eats is that which he earns. And his child is from his earning."Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and others. Verified as sahih by Al-Albani in Akham ul-Jana'iz, 217
The reason for this is that a parent benefits himself by rearing his child according to the teachings of Islam, and exerting a consistent effort to raise him as a righteous person. As the child grows into adulthood and does righteous deeds, his parents deserve a merit in that they helped him accomplish that and his good actions are therefore, at least in part, from his parents' earning.
3.2 SADAQAH FROM A CHILD
A'ishah, rahimahullah, reported that a man asked Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, "My mother had a sudden death, and did not have chance to bequeath anything. Had she been able to do, I think that she would have given sadaqah. Would she or I get any rewards if I give sadaqah on her behalf?" He replied, "Yes! So give sadaqah on her behalf." [Al-Bukhari, Muslim and others]
Ibn 'Abbas, rahimahullah, reported that Sa'd bin 'Ubadah's mother died during his absence on a trip. He came to the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and asked him, "O Allah's Messenger! My mother has passed away during my absence. Would it be of benefit to her if I give sadaqah on her behalf?" He replied, "Yes!" He said, "Be my witness then that I give my fruitful garden as sadaqah on her behalf."
Abu Hurayrah, rahimahullah, reported that a man asked the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, "My father has died, leaving behind a wealth; but he did not bequeath anything. Would it help him if I give sadaqah on his behalf?" He, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, replied, "Yes!" [Muslim, Ahmad and others]
Abdullah ibn 'Amr, rahimahullah, reported that al-'As bin Wa'il as-Sahmi (his grandfather) bequeathed that one hundred slaves be freed on his behalf. His son, Hisham, freed fifty; and 'Amr wanted to free the other fifty, but decided to ask Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, first. He came to the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and said, "O Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam! My father has bequeathed that one hundred slaves be freed on his behalf. Hisham has freed fifty and fifty are left. Should I free them for him?" He replied, "Had he been a Muslim, your freeing slaves, giving sadaqah, or performing Hajj on his behalf would all have reached (in rewards) and benefited him." [Ahmad, Abu Dawud, al-Bayhaqi, verified as hasan by al-Albani, in Akham ul-Jana'iz, 218). Commenting on these ahadith, ash-Shawani said, "This indicates that the rewards for a sadaqah from a child reach the parents after their death - even if they had not bequeathed it. These ahadith restrict the general meaning of Allah's saying:
"And that the human being can have nothing but what he has earned."Holy Quran Chapter 53:39
But there is no indication in these ahadith that the sadaqah except from one's own child, helps. Since it is established that a person's child is his own earning, it is not possible to claim that the meaning (of these hadiths) needs to be restricted. As for the sadaqah from other than one's child, it is apparent from general Qur'anic texts that it does not help the deceased. This should then be maintained unless an additional evidence can be brought to restrict it." [Nayl al-Awtar 4:97]
3.3 HARITABLE DEEDS FROM A NON-CHILD
Some scholars, such as an-Nawawi, hold the opinion that all charitable deeds on behalf of a deceased person can benefit him, whether done by his children or other people. This is refuted by ash-Shawkani's strong argument above. Similarly, al-Albani says in this regard, "Some scholars have treated a non-child as a child (in this matter). This analogy is invalid for various reasons:
1. It conflicts with the general Qur'anic texts that make a person's good deeds a condition for entering Jannah. There is no doubt that a parent benefits himself by raising his child and nurturing him. Thus unlike other people, he deserves a reward for this;
2. The difference between the two cases inhibits such an analogy. As in 'Aishah's hadith, Allah has made a child part of his parent's earnings - but not of other people's earnings. Al-'Izz ibn 'Abdus-Salam said, "If one does an act of obedience and dedicates its reward to a living or dead person, the reward will not reach that person. And if he starts an act of worship intending it on behalf of a dead person, it would not be as intended - except for things excluded in Islam such as sadaqah, fasting and hajj." [Al-Fatawa 24:2]; and
3. Had this analogy been possible it would have implied that it is recommended to dedicate rewards to the dead. In such a case, the Salaf would have done this, because they surely used to have more concern than us about doing good. But they did not do it. Ibn Taymiyyah said, "It was not the practice of the Salaf, when they performed a voluntary prayer, fasting, Hajj or Qur'anic recitation, to dedicate the rewards of that to the dead Muslims. Thus, one should not abandon the way of the Salaf, because it is better and more complete". [Al-Ikhtiyarat ul-'Ilmiyah 54] Note that Ibn Taymiyyah has another opinion contradicting this one, which was advocated by his student, Ibn al-Qayyim in ar-Ruh. That opinion conflicts with Ibn Taymiyyah's known position of rejected qiyas in matters of worship; and it was refuted in a strong and sound manner by Rashid Rida' in Tafsir ul-Manar 8:254-270.
4.0 CLAIMS FOR IJMA'
It should be noted that there are claims for Ijma' (consensus) that a dead person benefits from the good deeds, including Qur'anic recitation, done on his behalf by other people. Whereas these claims have been demonstrated to be invalid in the above discussion, they further fall under the following two considerations:
1. It has been demonstrated by staunch scholars, such as Ibn Hazm (in Usul ul-Ahkam), ash-Shawkwani (in Irsad ul-Fuhul), and 'Abd ul-Wahhab Khallaf (in Usul ul-Fiqh), that it is not possible to justify ijma' for other than the most obvious matters in Islam. Imam Ahmad has indicated this in his famous refutation against those who claim ijma'; and
2. I have investigated many of the cases for which there have been claims of ijma' and found that there is an obvious difference of opinion concerning them. (Shaykh al-Albani) even found (in some cases) that the opinion of the majority of scholars is contrary to the claimed ijma'! (Ahkam ul-Jana'iz, 219).
5.0 DANGEROUS BELIEF
The danger of holding a wrong belief in regard to this issue has been clarified and emphasized by Al-Albani:
"We do not doubt this wrong belief's evil effects upon one who adopts it. He would rely upon others for acquiring rewards and high ranks (in the hereafter), because he knows that the Muslims dedicate hundreds of good deeds every day to all of the living and the dead Muslims, and he is one of them; that would then relieve him from having to work hard when others are striving on his behalf! ... A more dangerous saying is that it is permissible to perform Hajj on behalf of others, even if there is no valid excuse preventing them from performing it by themselves. This causes many of the wealthy people to drop hajj or other obligations, giving themselves the excuse, 'They will perform Hajj on my behalf after my death! There are many other similar opinions that clearly have evil effects on the (Muslim) societies. It is imperative for the scholars who wish to reform (the societies) to reject such opinions, because they conflict with the texts, as well as the spirit of the shari'ah. As for the person who rejects the opinions described above, it is inconceivable that he would ever rely on other people in doing deeds and acquiring rewards. He realizes that only his own deeds can save him, and he is rewarded in accordance with what he himself earns. It is then incumbent that he strives t the utmost to leave behind him good traces which will result in good rewards for him even in the loneliness of his grave - instead of those imaginary good deeds."Ahkam ul-Jana'iz, 222-223
6.0 FULFILLING THE DECEASED'S VOWS
6.1 FASTING THE VOWED DAYS
'A'ishah, rahimahullah, reported that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:
"Whoever dies while he has a fasting to fulfill (as a vow), his wali' (kin/guardian) should fast for him."Agreed upon
Ibn Abbas, rahimahullah, reported that a woman was travelling in the sea, and she vowed that if Allah saved her she would fast for one month. Allah saved her, but she died before fulfilling her vow. Her daughter came to the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and mentioned this to him. He asked, "Had she owed money as debt, wouldn't you have paid it on her behalf?" She replied, "Yes". He said, "Allah's debt is more worthy of being fulfilled. So fulfill (the vow) for your mother." [Agreed upon]
Sa'd bin 'Ubadah reported that he told Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, "My mother has died and she had an unfulfilled vow." He instructed him, "Fulfill it for her." [Agreed upon]
These ahadith clearly indicate that it is recommended for a deceased's wali to fulfill his vows of fasting.
6.2 FASTING THE MISSED DAYS OF RAMADHAN
Some scholars recommended, in addition to this, fasting the days of Ramadhan that the deceased had missed. However, the correct position in this regard is expressed by Imam Ahmad, rahimahullah, "One may not fast for a dead person except in the case of a vow." [Al-Masa'il, 96 by Abu Dawud]
This position is confirmed by the understanding of two of the Companions, 'Aishah and Ibn 'Abbas. 'Amrah reported that her mother died without making up her missed days of Ramadhan. She asked 'Aishah rahimahullah, "Should I make that up on her behalf?" She replied, "No! Rather give sadaqah to the needy in the amount of a half sa' (of grains or food) for every missed day." [At-Tahawi, Ibn Hazm, verified to be sahih by al-Albani, Ahkam ul-Jana'iz, 215] Sa'id ibn Jubayr, rahimahullah, reported that Ibn 'Abbas, rahimahullah, said, "If a man gets sick in Ramadhan and then dies without fasting, food should be given on his behalf - without a need to make up for the fasting. But if he had made a vow (to fast), his wali' should fast for him." [Abu Dawud, Ibn Hazm, verified sahih by al-Albani, Ahkam ul-Jana'iz, 215]
Commenting on this, Al-Albani says:
"This understanding is adopted by the Mother of the Believers, as well as Ibn 'Abbas, the great scholar of the Ummah, and is further held by the Imam of Sunnah, Ahmad ibn Hanbal. It is the most moderate and appropriate opinion in this regard; and it fulfills all of the relevant hadiths, without rejected any of them, especially the first, which the Mother of the Believers, rahimahullah, did not find applicable to the fasting of Ramadhan. She is the reporter of the hadith, and it is established that a narrator of a hadith is more knowledgeable about the meaning of what he reports, especially when his understanding agrees with the rules and foundations of the shari'ah, as is the case here."Ahkam ul-Jana'iz, 215-216
And Ibn Al-Qayyim, rahimahullah, comments on 'Aishah's above hadith by saying:
"One group (of scholars) generalizes this and enable other people to follow it clean and pure, as it was revealed, and says that both the vowed and missed obligatory fasting should be made up for the deceased. Another group rejects this and says that no fasting may be made up for him. A third group is more specific in saying that only the vowed fasting, but not the obligatory fasting, should be for his brother, the appointed angel says, 'Amin; and the same be given to you.' "


THINGS THAT BENEFIT THE DEAD PARENTS (Part 3 of 5)
(Re: AFTER PARENTS’ DEATH – WHAT ARE YOUR DUTIES TO THEM?)

7.0 GUARDING IN ALLAH'S WAY
As has been previously demonstrated standing guard in the way of Allah benefits a person after his death. Fudalah ibn 'Ubayd and 'Uqbah ibn 'Amir, rahimahumullah, reported that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:
"The deeds of a dead person are sealed (at the time of death) except the one who stands guard in the way of Allah; his good deeds continue to increase until the Day of Resurrection, and he is protected from the trial of the grave."Ahmad, Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi, and others, verified sahih by Al-Albani in Sahih ul-Jami' no. 4562
8.0 REVIVING THE SUNNAH
Calling to a forgotten Sunnah or fighting an established bid'ah are amongst the most important charitable deeds that a person can do during his lifetime. They help revive Allah's din to Muhammad, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam. Jarir bin 'Abdullah, rahimahullah, reported that they (the companions) were with Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, in the middle of the day when a group of people arrived (from outside al-Madinah) to see him. They were barefoot, (almost) naked, wearing only woolen lined cloth pieces or cloaks, armed with swords, wearing no izars or anything else beside that. Most or all of them were from (the tribe of) Mudar. The face of Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, changed (reflecting sadness) when he noticed their extreme poverty. He went in (to his house), then he came out. He commanded Bilal to give adhan, prayed dhuhr, then mounted a small minbar. He gave a khutbah in which he praised and thanked Allah, and then said, "After this, (I say that) Allah has revealed in His book:
'O people! Revere your lord who has created you from one soul, and created from it its mate, and from these two spread forth multitudes of men and women; and fear Allah through whom you demand your mutual rights, and revere the ties of the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever watchful over you.'Holy Quran Chapter 4:1
"And He says:
'O you who believe! Revere Allah, and let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow; and revere Allah. Allah is well Aware of what you do! And be not like those who forget (disobey) Allah, and He caused them to forget themselves. Those are the disobedient. Not equal are the dwellers of the Fire and the dwellers of Jannah. It is the dwellers of Jannah that will be successful.' Holy Quran Chapter 59:18-20
"Spend (in Allah's way) before you are prevented from spending. Let a man spend of his dinars, dirhams, clothes, measure of wheat, barley or dates." Until he said, "Do not belittle any amount of Sadaqat (charity). Safeguard yourselves from the Fire, even with half a date." Observing the people's slow response, the Prophet's face showed signs of anger. But then, one man from the Ansar came with a parcel full (of money) of silver and gold, which he could hardly hold in his palm. He handed it to Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, while he was still on the minbar, and said, "O Allah's Messenger! Take this in Allah's way." He, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, took it. Abu Bakr, rahimahullah, then stood and gave something. Then 'Umar, rahimahullah, gave something. Then the rest of the Muhajirun and Ansar gave. Thus people followed each other in giving charity. This one would give a dinar, this a dirham, this such and this such - until there were two piles of food and clothes; and the face of Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, lighted up with a reddish-golden colour. So he said, "He who initiates in Islam a good way gets his reward for it, as well as rewards similar to those who follow him into it, without reducing any of their rewards. And he who initiates in Islam an evil way gets his burden for it, as well as burdens similar to those who follow him into it, without reducing any of their burdens." He, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, then recited:
"We record that which they have done, as well as their traces - and We have enumerated everything in a clear book."Holy Quran Chapter 36:12
And he, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, divided what was collected among them (the poor people from Mudar). [Muslim, Ahmad and others, Ahkam ul-Jana'iz, 224-226]
9.0 QUESTION AND ANSWER SESSION
9.1 PRAYING FOR DECEASED PARENTS
Question. You mentioned certain actions we can do to increase the reward of our parents after their death. One is praying for them. Is there a particular prayer? Should it be said after each obligatory prayer, or as often as possible? If one wants to pay charity on their behalf, it is sometimes very difficult to establish that those who are taking it are really poor. How to make sure? Is it true that the best thing is to read Surah Al-Ikhlas 100,000 times in Tasbeeh prayer and gift its reward to one’s parents?
Answer. The best prayer, or dua’, to say for our deceased parents, and even when they are alive, is that which God has taught us in the Qur’an: “’My Lord, bestow on them Your grace, even as they reared and nurtured me when I was a child.” (Holy Quran Chapter 17: 24) Another prayer is that mentioned in the Qur’an as said by the Prophet Noah: “My Lord! Grant forgiveness to me and to my parents.” (Holy Quran Chapter 71: 28) If you combine the two, you will be acting on the Prophet’s advice and saying the best prayers for them.
In Arabic, it is a short prayer that says:
“Rabbi-ghfir lee wa liwalidayy. Rabbi-rhamhuma kama rabbayani sagheera.”
We normally say this prayer at the end of each prayer, whether obligatory or recommended, just before we finish the prayer with salam. But it can be said at any time: The more often the better.
When you pay charity, whether voluntary i.e. sadaqah, or obligatory i.e. zakah, you should try hard to ensure that it is given to people who really need it. You can always make your own inquiries about the status of people in your area, or seek advice from people around you. If there is a local committee that collects and distributes zakah and charity, and you are sure that its members are honest and seek to help those who are really poor in the community, you can pay it to them. Generally speaking, do not pay it to beggars, because begging is forbidden in Islam, except in the three cases outlined by the Prophet.
In Nigeria certain Muslim areas embark fully on collective Aduas to not only parents but other reasons. These are completely not in Islam but Bid’a.
Islam does not like encouraging reciting surahs of the Qur’an, or glorifications of God, in very large numbers, because this tends to be mechanical, giving no chance to the person to reflect on the meaning of what one is saying.
This means that reading a short surah 100,000 times is not recommended. There is no authentic Hadith that suggests that the Prophet Sallalahu Alaihi Salaam encouraged such reading.
As for Tasbeeh prayer, which people mention as strongly recommended, it is in fact mentioned in a single Hadith that is lacking in authenticity. Scholars of great knowledge confirm that it is not recommended.
9.2 HE WANTS TO BENEFIT HIS DECEASED FATHER
I give out money on my father's behalf (deceased). I would like to do good for my father, what else can I do other than feed a Muslim for the month of Ramadan?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Charity (sadaqah) given on behalf of the deceased will benefit him and its reward will reach him, according to the consensus of the Muslims.
Muslim (1630) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “My father has died and left behind wealth, and he did not make a will. Will it be an expiation for him if I give in charity on his behalf?” He said, “Yes.”
Muslim also narrated (1004) from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased wth her) that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “My mother died suddenly and I think that if she could have spoken she would have given in charity [i.e., left instructions that some of her estate be given in charity]. Will I have a reward if I spend in charity on her behalf?” He said, “Yes.”
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
This hadeeth indicates that it is permissible to give in charity on behalf of the deceased and that doing so is mustahabb, and that the reward for that will reach the deceased and benefit him or her; it will also benefit the one who gives the charity. There is consensus on all of that among the Muslims.
Feeding the poor is one of the acts of kindness and charity that was enjoined by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), especially providing iftaar to one who is fasting.
Also among the best things that you can do to benefit your father and honour him is to make du’aa’ for him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When a man dies, all his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity; beneficial knowledge; and a righteous son who will pray for him.” Narrated by Muslim, 1631.
So you should make a lot of du’aa’ for your father, during your prayer and at other times, asking Allaah to forgive him, and admit him to Paradise, and keep him away from Hell.
And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A, 12652
9.3 A SON’S PRAYER FOR DECEASED PARENT
Adil Salahi, Arab News, 5/3/04
Q. My father died recently. Could you please let me know what should I do to increase his reward with God. When we visit the grave of a deceased relative, and recite the Qur’an, does the soul of that relative hear us or know what we are doing? Do souls roam around to know what the living are doing?
Fahad Syed
A. The Prophet (peace be upon him) has made it clear that when a person dies, he can no longer do anything about his future life except in one of three ways: “a continuous act of charity, a useful contribution to knowledge, and a dutiful child who prays for him.” This defines the way for children to benefit their deceased parents. They should pray for them as often as they can, requesting God to have mercy on them. Hence, the Prophet’s Sunnah encourages us to conclude every obligatory or voluntary prayer with the supplication: ‘My Lord! Forgive me and my parents. Bestow Your mercy on them as they took care of me when I was young.’ This prayer reads in Arabic: “Rabbi-ghfir li wa liwalidayy. Rabbi-rhamhuma kama rabbayani sagheera.” It is strongly recommended to say this prayer just before we finish any obligatory or voluntary prayer we offer, at the end of the Tashahhud. A deceased man may find his position with God improving, and he asks about the reason. He is told by God that it is through his child’s prayer for him. Needless to say, this applies to both mothers and fathers, through the prayers of both their sons and daughters.
I have explained more than once that the best thing to do for a dead person is to offer the pilgrimage and the Umrah on his or her behalf, or to spend in charity on their behalf. We should also pray God to forgive them and have mercy on them. We may also recite the Qur’an and request God to credit the reward of our recitation to them. All this counts in the same way as prayer for them.
Visiting graveyards and praying for the dead is recommended. They cannot hear us because God states clearly in the Qur’an: “You cannot make those in the graves hear you.” (35: 22) But God may inform a dead person of what is being done on his behalf and by whom. As for the notion of the soul roaming the earth, we can say that this is alien to Islam. The Arabs held this notion in pre-Islamic days, and it is found in some other cultures, but it is un-Islamic. We have been told in the Qur’an not to enquire about the soul, because its knowledge belongs to God alone and He has not given us information on this issue. Therefore, we do not speak about it without basis.



THINGS THAT BENEFIT THE DEAD PARENTS (Part 4 of 5)
(Re: AFTER PARENTS’ DEATH – WHAT ARE YOUR DUTIES TO THEM?)

10.0 WHAT CAN BENEFIT THE DECEASED AFTER HIS DEATH? CAN HE HEAR WHAT THE LIVING SAY?
The principle is that the dead do not hear the words of the living, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "… but you cannot hear those who are in graves." [Holy Quran Chapter Faatir 35:22] and "Verily, you cannot make the dead to hear…" [Holy Quran Chapter al-Naml 27:80].
When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) addressed the slain kuffaar (disbelievers) after the Battle of Badr, Allaah caused them to hear his words, although they were at the bottom of the well in which they had been buried. This was a special case, as the scholars, may Allaah have mercy on them, have stated. (See Al-Aayaat al-Bayyinaat fi ‘adam Samaa’ al-Amwaat).
Perhaps the psychological motive for your wishing that you father could hear you is an attempt to do something to re-establish the communication that has been cut, in order to alleviate the pain you are feeling. But you should understand, that Islam has explained what actions on the part of the living may benefit the dead, and what may reach them in their graves. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three: sadaqah jaariyah (ongoing charity, e.g. a waqf or endowment), beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind), or a righteous child who will pray for him." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no 1376; he said this is a saheeh hasan hadeeth)
The most important thing that will benefit your father or mother after death, and that you can do for them now that he is in his grave, is to strive to pray for him and ask for forgiveness and mercy for him, and for Paradise and salvation from the Fire, and other good and beautiful du’aa’s (prayers).
Prayers for forgiveness offered by both sons and daughters of the deceased bring great benefits, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A man’s status will be raised in Paradise and he will ask, ‘How did I get here?’ He will be told, ‘By your son’s du’aa’s (prayers) for forgiveness for you." (Reported by Ibn Maajah, no 3660; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1617)
Another thing that may reach the deceased is sadaqah (charity) given on his behalf, because ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) reported that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "My mother has passed away, and if she could have spoken, she would have given something in charity. Will she receive a reward if I give something on her behalf?" He said, "Yes." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 1388)
Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that the mother of Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) died when he was away from her. He said: "O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died and I am away from her. Will it benefit her anything if I give in charity on her behalf?" He said, "Yes." He said, "Then I ask you to be my witness that I am giving my garden al-Mikhraaf (so called because it bore so many dates) in charity on her behalf." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 2756)
Abu Hurayrah reported that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "My father has died and left money behind. He did not make a wasiyyah (a will); will it expiate for his sins if I give some of it in charity on his behalf?" He said, "Yes." (Reported by al-Nisaa’i)
Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah said: "I said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died. Should I give charity on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ I asked, ‘What kind of charity is best?’ He said, ‘Providing water.’" (Reported by al-Nisaa’i)
Other deeds that may also benefit the deceased are Hajj and ‘Umrah on their behalf, after the living person has first performed Hajj and ‘Umrah on his or her own behalf.
‘Abdullaah ibn Buraydah reported that his father (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "While I was sitting with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a woman came to him and said: ‘I gave my mother a slave-woman in charity, and now my mother has died.’ He said: ‘You have got your reward, and your right of inheritance has brought your gift back to you.’ She said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, she still had one month to fast – can I fast it on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Fast it on her behalf.’ She said, ‘She never went to Hajj – can I perform Hajj on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Perform Hajj on her behalf.’" (Reported by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, no. 1149)
This shows that it is also permissible to fast on behalf of the deceased.
Another thing that may benefit the deceased is to fulfil their nadhr (vow), because Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that a woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: "My mother made a vow to perform Hajj but she died before she could do it. Can I perform Hajj on her behalf?" He said, "Yes, perform Hajj on her behalf. Don’t you think that if your mother owed a debt you would pay it off?" She said, "Yes." He said, "Then pay off what is owed to Allaah, for Allaah is more deserving of having vows fulfilled." (al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 7315)
Another thing that may benefit the deceased is if his relative devotes a share to him of a sacrifice he offers. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) offered a sacrifice, he said: "In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, on behalf of Muhammad and the family of Muhammad" (reported by Muslim, no. 1967) – and the family of Muhammad included both the living and the dead.
You should also know that keeping yourself busy with praying for your father or mother is more important and better for you, and more beneficial to the deceased, than thinking about whether he can hear your voice. So try to do whatever will be of benefit both to him and you. You and your family should avoid forbidden innovations (bid’ah) such as marking the fortieth day after death, or the passing of one year since the death, or gatherings for reciting al-Faatihah (the first chapter or soorah of the Qur’aan), doing forbidden acts at graves, and so on, deeds which are done by those who are ignorant and are imitated by others.
I ask Allaah to forgive your father and have mercy on him and on all the deceased Muslims, for He is the Forgiving, Most Merciful.

11.0 HOW CHILDREN CAN HONOUR THEIR PARENTS
The rights of parents over their children may be summed up as treating them well in all matters, and behaving with them kindly as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Ahqaaf 46:15]
“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents”[ Holy Quran Chapter al-‘Ankaboot 29:8]
“but behave with them in the world kindly”[ Holy Quran Chapter Luqmaan 31:15]
Shaykh al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “be dutiful and kind to parents” means: treat them kindly in all ways, in word and in deed. Tafseer al-Sa’di, p. 524.
One of the most important acts of worship that the child is asked to do with regard to his parents is to obey them, to do as they ask and to refrain from what they tell him not to do. So if his father tells him to do something, he hastens to do what he is told, and if he tells him not to do something, he hastens to give it up, so long as that does not involve any disobedience towards Allaah and his Messenger, because there is no obedience to any created being if itinvolves disobedience towards the Creator.
Then he can make du’aa’ for them and pray for forgiveness for them, especially when they grow old and weak and are in need of someone to treat them kindly and take care of their needs. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Isra’ 17:23-24]
Allaah has given examples in His Book of kind treatment of parents. Allaah says of His slave Yahya ibn Zakariyya:
“(It was said to his son): ‘O Yahya (John)! Hold fast the Scripture [the Tawraat (Torah)].’ And We gave him wisdom while yet a child. And (made him) sympathetic to men as a mercy (or a grant) from Us, and pure from sins [i.e. Yahya (John)] and he was righteous, And dutiful towards his parents, and he was neither arrogant nor disobedient (to Allaah or to his parents). And Salaam (peace) be on him the day he was born, and the day he dies, and the day he will be raised up to life (again)!” [Holy Quran Chapter Maryam 19:12-15]
Ibn Jareer al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Here Allaah says: “And dutiful towards his parents” meaning that he was quick to obey them, loving towards them, and not disobedient.
“and he was neither arrogant nor disobedient” – here Allaah tells us that he was not too proud to obey Allaah or his parents, rather he was humble and submissive towards Allaah and his parents, doing what he was commanded to and avoiding what was forbidden to him; he neither disobeyed his Lord nor his parents. Tafseer al-Tabari, 16/58
And Allaah said of His slave ‘Eesa ibn Maryam (interpretation of the meaning):
“He [‘Eesa (Jesus)] said: ‘Verily, I am a slave of Allaah, He has given me the Scripture and made me a Prophet; And He has made me blessed wheresoever I be, and has enjoined on me Salaah (prayer), and Zakaah, as long as I live.” And dutiful to my mother, and made me not arrogant, unblest’” [Holy Quran Chapter Maryam 19:30-32]
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The words “And dutiful to my mother” mean: and He has commanded me to be dutiful to my mother. This is mentioned after obedience to his Lord, because Allaah often mentions the command to worship him and to be dutiful to one’s parents together, as in the verses where He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Isra’ 17:23]
“give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination”[ Holy Quran Chapter Luqmaan 31:14]
And the words “and made me not arrogant, unblest’” mean, He has not made me arrogant and too proud to worship and obey Him and to honour my mother, and thus be doomed as a result of that. Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/121
As for after the parents have died, the child can do many things, such as the following:
1 – If he has wealth, and his parents were in debt, he can discharge their duty by paying off the debt for them.
2 – If he has wealth and his parents had not performed Hajj, he may perform Hajj on their behalf, or pay for someone else to perform Hajj on their behalf.
3 – He may pray for forgiveness for them and pray for mercy for them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Isra’ 17:24]
Shaykh Ibn Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: this means, pray for mercy for them, when they are alive and after they die. Tafseer al-Sa’di, p. 524
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man may be raised in status in Paradise and will say, Where did this come from? And it will be said: From your son’s praying for forgiveness for you.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 3660; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 1617. This applies if the child has reached the age of discernment and is able to earn money. But if the child is young and does not yet understand things, then these words do not apply in his case.
An example of how the righteous salaf honoured their parents is that of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him):
It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Dinaar from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar that a man from among the Bedouins met him on the road to Makkah. ‘Abd-Allaah greeted him with salaam, seated him on the donkey that he was riding and gave him a turban that he had been wearing on his head. Ibn Dinar said: We said to him: May Allaah guide you, they are just Bedouins and they would be content with little. ‘Abd-Allaah said: The father of this man was a friend of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab and I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “The best act of kindness is for the son to uphold ties (of friendship) with those who were his father’s friends.” Narrated by Muslim, 2552.
According to another report narrated by Ibn ‘Umar: when he went out to Makkah, he had a donkey which he would ride when he got tired of riding his camel, and a turban which he tied around his head. One day whilst he was riding that donkey, a Bedouin passed by him. He said: Are you not So and so, the son of So and so? He said: Yes. He gave him the donkey that he was riding and said: Ride it. And he gave him the turban that he had been wearing on his head, and he said: Tie it around your head. Some of his companions said: May Allaah forgive you, you have given this Bedouin a donkey that you used to ride when you got tired of riding your camel and a turban that you used to wear on your head. He said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “The best act of kind of kindness is for a man to honour his father’s friend after he has died,” and (this man’s) father was a friend of ‘Umar.
Abu Hurayrah was appointed in charge of Madeenah by Marwaan. He lived in Dhu’l-Hulayfah (approximately ten kilometers from Madeenah) and his mother lived in one house and he lived in another. When he wanted to go out he would stand at her door, and say: Peace be upon you, O my mother, and the mercy of Allaah and His blessings. And she would say: And upon you, O my son, and the mercy of Allaah and His blessings. And he would say: May Allaah have mercy on you, as you brought me up when I was young. And she would say: May Allaah have mercy on you as you took care of me when I grew old. Then when he wanted to come in, he would do likewise.
12.0 BENEFITTING THE DECEASED BY GIVING CHARITY ON HIS BEHALF
The scholars are agreed that the benefits of du’aa’, praying for forgiveness, giving charity and Hajj reach the deceased.
With regard to du’aa’ and praying for forgiveness, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who came after them say: ‘Our Lord! Forgive us and our brethren who have preceded us in Faith’”[ Holy Quran Chapter al-Hashr 59:10]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Pray for forgiveness for your brother and ask that he be made steadfast, for now he is being questioned.”
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When you offer the (funeral) prayer for the deceased, then make du’aa’ sincerely for him.”
With regard to charity, it was narrated in al-Saheehayn from ‘Aa’ishah that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “My mother died suddenly and she did not leave a will, but I think that if she could have spoken she would have given in charity. Will she have a reward if I give in charity on her behalf?” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Yes.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 1388; Muslim, no. 1004.
And it was narrated by al-Bukhaari from Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah that his mother died when he was absent, and he said: “O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died when I was absent. Will it benefit her if I give in charity on her behalf?” He said: “Yes.” He said: “I ask you to bear witness that my garden that bears fruit is given in charity on her behalf.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2756.
With regard to Hajj, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to one who asked him about Hajj: “Don’t you think that if your mother had a debt, you would pay it off for her?” She said: “Yes.” He said: “A debt owed to Allaah is more deserving of being paid off.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6699; Muslim, 1148.
From the above you will know that giving charity on behalf of the deceased will benefit him and its reward will reach him.
There is a da’eef (weak) hadeeth about offering prayer on behalf of the dead. Imam Muslim mentioned in his introduction to his Saheeh that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Mubaarak regarded this hadeeth as weak, then he said:
There is no difference of opinion concerning giving charity (i.e., on behalf of the dead). End quote.
Al-Nawawi said:
His words “There is no difference of opinion concerning giving charity (i.e., on behalf of the dead)” means that this hadeeth is not to be taken as evidence. But whoever wants to honour his parents, let him give charity on their behalf, for (the reward of) charity will reach the deceased and benefit them, and there is no difference of opinion among the Muslims concerning this point. This is the correct view. With regard to the report narrated by the qaadi Abu’l-Hasan al-Maawardi al-Basri al-Faqeeh al-Shaafa’i in his book al-Haawi from some of the scholars of al-kalaam, that no reward can reach the deceased after his death, this is a view that is definitely wrong and is clearly contrary to the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah and the consensus of the ummah, so no attention should be paid to it. With regard to praying and fasting on behalf of the dead, the view of al-Shaafa’i and the majority of the scholars is that the reward for that does not reach the deceased, unless it is a fast that was obligatory for the deceased, so his heir or someone to whom the heir gives permission makes it up on his behalf. Two views concerning this were narrated from al-Shaafa’i, the better known of which is that it is not valid; the more correct view according to the later Shaafa’i scholars is that it is valid.
With regard to reading Qur’aan, the well-known view of the Shaafa’i madhhab is that the reward for that does not reach the deceased. Some of his companions said that its reward does reach the deceased. Some of the scholars were of the view that the reward of all acts of worship – prayer, fasting, reading Qur’aan, etc – reaches the deceased… Then al-Nawawi mentioned that the reward for du’aa’, charity and Hajj reaches the deceased, according to scholarly consensus. End quote.
It says in Tuhfat al-Muhtaaj (7/72): The deceased can benefit from charity given on his behalf, which includes a waqf of a Mus-haf etc, or digging a well, or planting a tree, whether he does that during his lifetime or it is done by someone else on his behalf after his death.
With regard to the best ways of benefiting your father, you should make a lot of du’aa’ for him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Isra’ 17:24]
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When a person dies, all his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, or beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who will pray for him.”
With regard to charity, the best things on which charity may be spent are jihad for the sake of Allaah, building mosques, and helping seekers of knowledge by printing books for them or giving them money that they need.


THINGS THAT BENEFIT THE DEAD PARENTS (Part 5 of 5)
(Re: AFTER PARENTS’ DEATH – WHAT ARE YOUR DUTIES TO THEM?)

13.0 SETTLEMENTS OF DEBTS AFTER DEATH PUNISHMENT
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 58: Allah doth command you to render back your trusts to those to whom they are due; and when ye judge between man and man that ye judge with justice: Verily, how excellent is the teaching which He giveth you! for Allah is He who heareth and seeth all things.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 12: In what your wives leave your share is a half if they leave no child; but if they leave a child ye get a fourth; after payment of legacies and debts. In what ye leave their share is a fourth if ye leave no child; but if ye leave a child they get an eighth; after payment of legacies and debts. If the man or woman whose inheritance is in question has left neither ascendants nor descendants but has left a brother or a sister each one of the two gets a sixth; but if more than two they share in a third; after payment of legacies and debts; so that no loss is caused (to anyone). Thus is it ordained by Allah and Allah is All-Knowing Most Forbearing.
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (Sallalahu alaihi wa salaam) said: "A believer's soul remains in suspense (cannot enter Paradise) until all his debts are paid off." (Related by Ahmad, Ibn Majah, and Tirmidhi.)
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2929, Narrated by Muhammad ibn Abdullah ibn Jahsh, The Messenger of Allah (Sallalahu alaihi wa salaam) said: By Him in whose hand Muhammad's soul is, if a man were to be killed in Allah's path then come to life, be killed again in Allah's path then come to life, and be killed once more in Allah's path then come to life owing a debt, he would not enter Paradise till his debt was paid." Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.585
Narrated by Abu Huraira, The Messenger of Allah (Sallalahu alaihi wa salaam) said, "Procrastination (delay) in repaying debts by a wealthy person is injustice."
The payment of debt is a right that one has to deliver to the person who gave the debt, and it must be settled. If the person who took the debt dies, then the first thing that will be paid out of his wealth will be the debts, and only after the payment of the debts will his wealth be distributed among his heirs.
If one takes on a debt and tries his best to repay the debt, but dies before settling his debt and has left behind no wealth, Allah Subhanah will pay the debt on his behalf on the Day of Judgement.
Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (Sallalahu alaihi wa salaam) said: "If anyone takes other people's money with the intention to repay it and then he or she should die without settling the debt, Allah will pay the debt on his behalf. And if anyone takes money or property (of others) with the intention of destroying it, Allah will destroy him." (Related by Bukhari)
But if one takes on a debt and has no intention or bothers to pay it back, and dies before settling his debt and has left no wealth behind, he will have to settle the debt on the Day of Judgement in the currency of the Hereafter! And the currency of the Hereafter is deeds: thus he will have to pay his good deeds to the person he owed the debt to, and if he does not have enough good deeds to pay, he will take on the evil deeds of the person he owed the debt to, and will be thrown in the Hell Fire as a result! Sahih Muslim Hadith 6251
Narrated by Abu Hurayrah, The Messenger of Allah (Sallalahu alaihi wa salaam) said: Do you know who is a muflis? They (the Companions of the Prophet) said: A poor man amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth. The Prophet (Sallalahu alaihi wa salaam) said: The muflis (ardently poor) of my Ummah would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers, and fasts, and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others, and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others, and shed the blood of others, and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then the sins of the one who suffered at his hands would be entered in (his account), and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire.
14.0 SUMMARY OF ADVISES
REASONS YOU NEED TO HEED YOUR PARENTS’ ADVICE
Perhaps there is some truth in feeling that our parents and elder relatives might not be cognizant of what we are going through. But our elders do know us better than anyone else does. They have spent far more time with us than any teachers, coaches or even friends.
If we are patient enough to explain our problems to them, they can combine their decades of life experience with their knowledge of us and offer some really helpful advice.
When you may be dreading or avoiding it, here are 6 reasons to take your parents’ advice and a few tips to make the conversation go down smoother too.
1 – HAVE BEEN THERE, HAVE DONE THAT
Well, maybe they haven’t made the same mistake they are about to help you avoid, but they likely know someone who did something similar. Sometimes it’s unavoidable to learn from our own mistakes, but it’s great if an elder can steer us clear of something they know for sure is no good.
2 – THEY SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY – AND THIS CAN BE GOOD!
Your elders’ judgement, unlike yours, isn’t clouded for their feelings towards your best friend or based on what your peers may think – they have healthy detachment from the situation. Looking at things from another angle, they can offer you fresh eyes on a problem. They will likely see opportunities and solutions you never could have imagined.
3 – YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL JUST IMPROVE
This is a truly unexpected aspect of listening to your elders. The simple act of listening to their advice is a sign of respect. Feeling respected in turn makes them feel more connected to you. It really improves your relationship, paving the way for better and better exchanges.
4 – THEY LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE
Really they do. And while that love is overbearing at times, still they want the best for you and their advice will reflect that they love you.
5 – NO REGRETS
If you listen to your elders and take their heartfelt advice, well then you don’t have to worry about what could have been if you had just listened.
6 – OBEYING PARENTS TAKES YOU TO JANNAH
Obeying and honoring one’s parents is a means of entering Paradise. Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) quoted the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) as saying:
*“He is doomed, he is doomed, he is doomed.” Then someone said, “Who, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “The person whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age during his lifetime but he does not enter Paradise.” (Muslim)*
Respecting and obeying one’s parents is a way of showing gratitude to them for bringing one into this world.
Allah the Almighty says,
“And We have enjoined upon man concerning his parents. His mother bears him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Give thanks unto Me and unto thy parents. Unto Me is the journeying.” (Holy Quran Chapter Luqman 31:14)

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
To fully benefit from your elders’ advice, you can practice these communication tips to make things go as smooth as possible:
1 – Ask for clarification. Don’t get their drift? Ask your adviser to explain themselves. Be patient, this will be worth it.
2 – Don’t interrupt. No, actually you don’t know what they are going to say before they say it, so just listen, absorb and then respond.
3 – Watch your body language. This could be completely unintentional, but rolling your eyes, crossing your arms and fidgeting could all come across as impatience and annoyance to the person trying to advise you towards the better. So guard your body language.
THE SIGNIFICANCE OF OBEDIENCE TO PARENTS
Islam builds a family in which prevails mutual respect and care. Parents and children in Islam are bound together by mutual obligations and reciprocal arrangements. Allah Says (what means): “…No mother should be harmed through her child, and no father through his child…” [Holy Quran 2: 233]
The Quran has made it compulsory for the child to treat his parents with all goodness and mercy.
Every Muslim must show goodness and mercy to his parents throughout their lives. There is only one exception to this, and that is, if the parents ask their children to associate anything with Allah and to commit sins, then the children must not obey their parents. In all cases, the children must show love and gratitude to their parents. They must always speak to them gently and respectfully. They must try their best to make them happy, provided they do not disobey Allah in the process.
Allah says (what means): “But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with me others of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly…” [Holy Quran 31:15]
BEING PATIENT AND TOLERANT WITH PARENTS:
The children must take great care not to react to what their parents have to say. If they say or do anything which is not liked or approved of by the children, then they must show patience and tolerance instead of giving vent to their anger. The children must scrupulously try to refrain from disobeying their parents since the Prophet regarded this as one of the grave sins.
SUPPLICATING FOR THEM:
Far from showing signs of displeasure, the children must pray for them saying, as Allah teaches us in the verse (which means): "…My Lord and Sustainer! Be kind and have mercy on them as they cherished, nurtured and sustained me in childhood.” [Holy Quran 17: 24]
We must continue praying for them even after they die. Such prayer will be regarded as a continuous charity as the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa salllam, told us.
THE GREATER RIGHT OF THE MOTHER:
The children must be kinder and more grateful to their mothers since they took greater pains in their upbringing. That is why the Prophet emphasized that it is the mother who has the first claim on the child's care and attention.
Once a companion, may Allah be pleased with him, asked the Prophet as to whom he should show more kindness. The Prophet replied: "Your mother." He, may Allah be pleased with him, asked who comes next and the Prophet again replied: "Your mother." He, may Allah be pleased with him, asked the Prophet yet again who comes next. The Prophet replied: “Your mother." When the companion, may Allah be pleased with him, asked for the fourth time, only then did the Prophet reply: "Your father."

RECOGNIZING THEIR GREAT STATUS:
The Muslim should recognize the status of the parent and know his duties towards them. The status of parents in Islam is a status which mankind had not known before. Allah Has placed the respect for the parent’s just one step below the belief in Allah and true worship of Him.
Allah says (what means): “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” [Holy Quran 17: 23]
The Prophet placed kindness and respect towards parents just after the prayer offered on time as the prayer is the foundation of Islam.
'Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “I asked the Prophet which deed is most liked by Allah? He said: ‘Prayer offered on time.’ I asked him: ‘Then what? He said: ‘Kindness and respect towards parents.’…” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
KNOWING THE DUTIES TOWARDS THEM:
It is also the duty of the child to provide for his parents, if he is able to do so. The Quran sums up the whole matter in a master concept called Ihsaan, which denotes what is right, good and beautiful (i.e. showing to them kindness, compassion, gratitude, reverence and respect, praying for them and supporting them financially if they are in need.)
Concluding, we mention a verse that shows the significance of obedience and gratitude due to parents: Allah says (what means): “And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.” [Holy Quran 31:14]
DON’T IGNORE PARENT’S ADVICE
Whenever our parents gives advice , children thinks that parents don’t know anything about new fashion and living style. Whenever parents gives advice, children generally try to ignore it and make sure that their parents understand that children want to live life their own way.
Ignoring parent’s old logical advice and giving weird expressions might harm you only, their advice will surely help you somewhere and that time you will feel guilty that you never listened to what they want you to teach.
Here are few points which shows that why you need to listen to your parent’s advice:
1. World Changed To Worst: Most common excuse for ignoring your parent’s advice and doing what your friends say to you is generation gap. I agree that world is changing and you need to change with time but you must listen to your parents also. Your parents might not know about computers or latest technologies but they have more experience about life. They know that life is getting tough for kids to handle. Your parents love you and thus want to save you from changing world, where others can trap you in different kind of problems.
2. Know World: There are so many news everyday about problems with teen occurring due to few innocent mistakes. You might get confused while taking decisions about your life. Who you should listen to? Your parents or friends? Your parents and friends can be right or wrong but it’s up to you what you want from your life and you must have ability to take your decision about fashion, drugs or adventures in life. Best way to take decision is to think about best and prepare for worst. Once you analysis best and worst, you will never feel sorry for your decision.
3. Parents Love You: Simple reason why parents want to help you in taking decisions is because they love you. They don’t want that the mistakes which they did in their life, you should repeat it. They want you to live your life with happiness always without regretting anything in life because of wrong decision. If your parents are successful, they might have knowledge and experience. Don’t be biased while they advice you about life and success, their advice will surely help you somewhere in life.
4. Think Of Past, Before Ignoring Your Parent’s Advice: There are lots of reasons and proofs in your life which shows that you must listen to your parent’s advice. They always advice you to study well but you always ignore. When you get fewer marks and face problems in getting jobs, you remember your parent’s advice. They might have scolded you while teaching you manners and etiquettes, but because of those manners only you are well known in your college or office. Thus always listen to parent’s advice and then take decisions.
God wants you to be perfect and thus created parents to make you perfect and save you from ruining your life.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
And Allah Knows Best

SOURCES/REFERENCE
1) http://aljazeerah.info/Islam/Islamic%20subjects/2004%20subjects/May/A%20Sons%20Prayer%20for%20Deceased%20Parent,%20Adil%20Salahi.htm
2) From the Inevitable Journey: Life in Al-Barzakh
3) http://www.islamweb.net/en/article/139144/
4) https://www.letstalkrelations.com/dont-ignore-parents-advice.html
6) https://islamqa.info/en/763
7) https://islamqa.info/en/127
8) https://islamqa.info/en/42384

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