The Husband - wife relationship

The Husband - wife relationship

Assembled by Mallam Abba Abana, Kubwa, Abuja, Nigeria

http://variousislamicdawadocuments.blogspot.com

Emails:gonidamgamiri@yahoo.com; abba.abana@gmail.com

Dated 8^th January 2017

 

Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah. As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu

Praise be to Allaah; we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful

Contents

Women folk should seek forgiveness from Allah (SWT).

Married husband - wife relationships.

Love, mercy and tranquillity.

Courtesy and consultation.

The specific guidelines for married men and women.

Can Taubah forgive major sins?

Means of expiating sin.

In summary would the greatest sins be forgiven if one truly repents?

1.0 Women folk should seek forgiveness from Allah (SWT)

Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) said: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "O women folk! You should give charity and be diligent in seeking Allah's forgiveness because I have seen (i.e., on the Night of the Ascension to the highest heavens) that dwellers of the Hell are women.'' A woman amongst them said: "Why is it that the majority of the dwellers of Hell are women?'' The Prophet (PBUH) replied, "You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. In spite of your lacking in wisdom and failing in religion, you are depriving the wisest of men of their intelligence.'' Upon this the woman asked: "What is the deficiency in our wisdom and in our religion?'' He (PBUH) replied, "Your lack of wisdom can be well judged from the fact that the evidence of two women is equal to that one man. You do not offer Salat (prayer) for some days and you do not fast (the whole of) Ramadan sometimes, it is a deficiency in religion.''
[Muslim].

2.0 married Husband - wife relationship

2.1 Love, Mercy and Tranquillity

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.  Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. (Holy Quran chapter 30:21)

Allah has indeed created man and woman to be the natural counterparts of the other.  They are natural companions both physically and mentally.  These indeed are signs for us.

The nature of the relationship from the outset is that it should be one conducive to the fulfilment of companionship, affection/love, tranquillity and mercy.  Furthermore, it is these elements which should be the context of marital interactions.

“On the night of the fast it is lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives.  They are clothing/covering (libaas) for you and you for them….”( Holy Quran chapter 2:187)

Libaas is used for the clothing/covering term above.  In this context it would seem to imply intimacy and closeness, concealment of faults, fulfilment of needs and an adornment for one another.  We act as a covering and protection for each other from fornication and any other such danger by sexually and otherwise fulfilling one another.

And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be a source of comfort/happiness/consolation, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous." (Holy Quran chapter 25:74) is a very powerful phrase in the Qur’an and it means rest, comfort, pleasure, happiness, consolation etc.  Literally it means the coolness of eyes, when used in the Qur’an it means that by which or in consequence of which the eye becomes cool or refreshed or in consequence of which it becomes at rest and sleeps (Dictionary of the Holy Qur’an, by Malik Ghulam Farid M.A.) from a state of sadness, worry etc.

A great example of this is in the story of Musa in 20:28-40, where his mother gets him back alive and safe after having cast him into the river by the command of Allah.  Imagine the sense of consolation and happiness she had, and this is using the same phrase in it correct form for that verse .

The lesson from this is that the wife has a the potential to be a great source of comfort and happiness for her husband and it is for this that a Muslim man can pray to Allah for. 

2.2 Courtesy and Consultation 

“You who believe! It is not lawful for you to inherit women by force. Nor may you treat them harshly so that you can make off with part of what you have given them, unless they commit an act of flagrant indecency. Live together with them correctly and courteously. If you dislike them, it may well be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed a lot of good.”(Holy Quran chapter 4:19)

 

Men are commanded not to treat their wives harshly for the purpose of getting back anything they have given them, unless they commit a clear ‘fahisha’, like physical and sexual immorality of any type etc…

• They must instead live with their wives in a correct and courteous manner.
• In fact, Allah tells us that if men dislike something in their wives then they should bear with it as Allah may have placed allot of good in it. 

Consider for example a verse in the context of divorce, a hard time in which anger, sorrow, resentment etc… are powerful emotions: - “Let the women live (in 'iddat*) in the same style as ye live, according to your means: Annoy them not, so as to restrict them. And if they carry (life in their wombs), then spend (your substance) on them until they deliver their burden: and if they suckle your (offspring), give them their recompense: and take mutual counsel together, according to what is just and reasonable. And if ye find yourselves in difficulties, let another woman suckle (the child) on the (father's) behalf.”( Holy Quran chapter 65:6)

*the waiting period before final divorce or when cancellation of divorce process can take place.

Even with the context of a painful divorce the husband must not annoy his wife, furthermore he should consult with her on relevant issues.  If this is what is expected at such times, how much more within the context of a loving marriage?

In fact from the very basic fact of consultation that Allah requires of Muslims we can understand the need for it in the marriage relationship, consider: - “Those who hearken to their Lord, and establish regular Prayer; who (conduct) their affairs by mutual Consultation; who spend out of what We bestow on them for Sustenance;” (Holy Quran chapter 42:38)

That affairs are conducted by consultation is seen from this verse to be an important quality of the Muslim character.

2.3 THE SPECIFIC GUIDELINES

“They question you concerning menstruation.  Say: It is an annoyance/hurt/uncleanliness, so keep away from women in their menses, and do not approach them until they are clean.  And when they have purified themselves, then come to them as Allah has commanded you.  Truly Allah loves those who turn unto Him, and loves those who have a care for cleanness.  Your women are a Harth for you, so come to your Harth however you like.  Send good ahead for yourselves and have fear of Allah.  Know that you are going to meet Him, and give good news to the believers.” (Holy Quran chapter Qur’an 2:222-223)

From Holy Quran chapter 2:222 we can see intercourse should be avoided when women are menstruating, however once the menstruation has ended and the woman has cleansed herself then intercourse is fine again.  This verse says nothing of other physical contact, so the idea that women should be apart or be deprived of any physical contact during the menstrual period has no basis.

Harth: There are various ways to understand حَرْثٌ in this context, the most common is: 

·         A place (ploughed) for sowing, crops.  If we use this meaning, then it would be understood (as found with modification in Lane's Lexicon) as: “Your wives are (those) wherein you sow your offspring”.  This meaning of the word (i.e., tilth) seems to be the meaning regularly used in translations. 

The traditional meaning took a very plain direct meaning from a farming context, namely, you sow seed in your wife and you get a baby in return.  While this can be a shade of the meaning, it should not be the only meaning for this word in this verse.

The word however has also more general meaning reflected by:

·         Gain or acquisition, recompense or reward; a lot, share or portion; worldly goods.

In the context of crops, you till the land and sow the seed and you get the recompense when something grows.  The crop context is likely the original context for the word harth; however the word is used in other contexts by abstracting the process of planting seed and benefiting from what grows.  In the nature of Arabic words in the language, the various shades of meaning of a word are typically linked by a common foundation.  And so from this foundation you have general meanings coming like recompense, reward, etc.  That is, something in which you expend effort and from which you derive a reward or recompense.

Let’s have a look at a verse that uses this word harth:  “Whoever desires the recompense (harth) of the Hereafter - We increase for him in his recompense (harth).  And whoever desires the recompense (harth) of this world - We give him thereof, but there is not for him in the Hereafter any share.”( Holy Quran chapter 42: 20).

This is clearly not narrowly referring to farmers or the like.  We have here a statement from Allah saying that for those who put in the effort for the hereafter, they will get the recompense in the hereafter and for those who put the effort for this life; they will get their reward in this life.

So within the context of a wife, we should take the general meaning in all its applications as relevant.  Your wife is the one that you protect and love, the one you support and guide.  And in return for your effort, she is the one who obeys and loves you, the one that gives you affection and tranquillity, the one that guards you honour etc.

The wife should be receptive to her husband and his needs, as Allah has revealed that the husband comes to his wife as he pleases.

“Men are the protectors/guardians and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore/so the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to the husband), and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct (nushuz), admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) separate from them; but if they obey you, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).”( Holy Quran chapter 4:34)

Men are the guardians and maintainers of women and women should accept and submit to this arrangement.  This is the decree of Allah that must be established if at all possible.  It is not for men, women or society at large to dictate otherwise. 

Recall:  “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.  Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought?”(Holy Quran chapter 30:21).

It makes sense that Allah would specify the dynamics between husband and wife that fulfil this verse and further, that Allah would design the man and the woman to be fulfilled by this dynamic.

A man should not only accept this arrangement, he must embody it as best he can so that his wife appreciates and submits to the arrangement.  He should to seek to be a worthy leader and caretaker for his wife, to organise his finances and circumstances as best he can to fulfil the dynamic defined by Allah.

A man will be most content when he is in charge, protecting and looking after his wife/family.  When he is respected and obeyed in his role and when he is loved and cared for because of his role.

A woman will be most content when she is protected and cared for, when she respects and submits to the authority of her husband and can give her love and devotion in this context.  In short, for the man that embodies the strength and leadership of the correct Muslim man, a woman will automatically respect and submit by her nature.

A woman should be devoutly obedient to her husband, in that she should obey him in matters that are not expressly forbidden by Allah.  We can notice that because of the underlined ‘therefore/so’ in 4:34, that it is as a result of the role and effort of the husband that the wife owes him this kind of obedience, and of course the guarding in the husband’s absence what Allah would have them guard.  A lazy, immature husband that neglects his role does not deserve the obedience of his wife.  It should be noted that some have stated that the obedience mentioned in this verse (the first time it is mentioned) is for Allah.  This cannot be true as Allah would not make obedience to Him conditional, whereas the therefore/so that is used in the verse does make the obedience conditional.  For this reason, the obedience is to the husband here and not in relation to Allah.

Obedience of the wife is critical part of the husband and wife relationship.  The role of the husband is to protect and guide his wife, to look out for her affairs.  To complete this task properly and to embody the role, he must have both authority over and obedience from his wife.  The analogy here is if you work in a company and you have someone under your management, you must have the authority to order this person to do tasks otherwise the company will not work harmoniously.  The example of the husband and wife is even more important than this as the husband cares for his wife much more than a manager for his subordinate and a husband has larger responsibility for his wife and her wellbeing.

It must be clear that the difference in authority in the marital relationship is not indicative of a difference of worth, as Allah clearly states: -"The nobler among you in the sight of God is the more muttaqi (righteous) among you." (Holy Quran chapter 49:13)

The next part of the verse tells us that the wife must guard her modesty and her husband’s honour/affairs etc. when he is absent.

“Therefore/so the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to the husband), and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard”( Holy Quran chapter 4:34)

4:34 introduces us to the fact that the relationship of husband and wife is one of differing roles, right and responsibilities.  Another example of this is:

“Women for whom the process of divorce has begun* (begun by the husband) should wait by themselves for three menstrual cycles; and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. Their husbands have the right to take them back within that time, if they desire to be reconciled. Women possess rights similar to those held over them (i.e., their obligations) to be honoured with fairness; but men have a degree above them (in both rights and obligations). Allah is Almighty, All-Wise.”(Holy Quran chapter 2:228)

*That is at the start of the iddah or waiting period.

This verse implies that men have been given both more obligations and rights with respect to their wives.  That is, the husbands have a degree above their wives in responsibilities to, and rights from, their wives.  (4:34) explains these rights and obligations to some extent.  In the verse itself is an example of the husband exercising this right, namely if the husband starts the divorce process and wife is in the waiting period, the husband has the right to take her back if he chooses to reconcile.

Another example of where the rights and responsibilities can be different the fact that a husband is required (based on his ability) to pay some maintenance for the woman he divorces:

“And for divorced women is a provision according to what is acceptable - a duty upon the righteous.”

(Holy Quran chapter 2:241)

The woman that divorces her husband does not have this obligation.  At the most, she may need to return a part of what she received as a gift from her husband if it helps the divorce.

In conclusion, all of the above must be within the context of love and compassion as is defined in the general verses.  Let us remember that Allah also specifically tells husbands to be patient with things they don’t like about their wives.

“O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.”( Holy Quran chapter 4:19)

This clearly indicating a relationship of compassion, forbearing with faults and love as is indicated by:

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”(Holy Quran chapter 30:21).

It is absolutely vital that the general guidelines for husband wife relations are used as the context within which the specific guidelines are understood and practiced.

I believe that it is the deviation from this marital pattern of Holy Quran chapter 4:34 in the areas of sociology, psychology and economics that is a big contributor to economic, social and family problems.  A separate document will look at idea in more detail. 

2.3 What is nushuz?  (high headedness, rebellion)

The word means high headedness, rebellion, disobedience, treating unjustly, treating unkindly etc…It is used in both the context of the husband fearing it from his wife in (Holy Quran chapter 4:34) and the wife fearing it from her husband (4:128), in both cases they are followed by a reference to the possible break-up of the marriage.

Nushuz can take a number of meanings in the context…  The wife could be high headed and decide she is better than to respect her obligations to her husband and as such rebel against the will of Allah for her.  She could of course be generally treating her husband unjustly and/or unkindly.

The husband could be acting unkindly and unjustly with his wife and he could be rebelling against his obligations to her and as such rebelling against the will of Allah for him.

I believe nushuz is a general term for something, which the spouse does that they shouldn’t do or something they don’t do that they should, both being as a result of disrespect or rebellion against the pattern defined by Allah in a marriage, which makes the marriage very difficult and hence allows the consideration of divorce.

If we read the last part of the verse (Holy Quran chapter 4:34) it would imply that the most likely nushuz a wife may do is to be disobedient to her husband.

Let us not forget that women who work obey their manager’s commands for the sake of money, yet they feel irritated when Allah commands them to obey their husbands as a religious obligation.  This shows that they care for this world more than the next life.

Men and women should make sure they can and will fulfil their obligations to their spouses if they are going to marry.

3.0 CAN TAUBAH FORGIVE MAJOR SINS?

Would the greatest sins be forgiven if one truly repents? 

In Islam, whatever deeds one might have done in one’s past, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a repentant believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: Shirk! Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and Generous, that He not only will forgive the sins of such sincerely repentant believers, He will change their evil deeds done into good deeds!  

The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:

·       One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.

·       Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin again.

·       Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment of death.

·       Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.  

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: O My servants who have wronged their own souls.Do not despair of Allahs Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:

The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, Peace to you; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

 Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357       Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."  

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death." 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2339 Narrated by Abu Sa'id

Allah's Messenger (saws) said that the Shaytaan said, "By Thy Might, my Lord, I shall continue to lead Thy servants astray as long as their spirits are in their bodies!" The Lord, Who is Great and Glorious, replied, "By My Might, Glory and Exalted Station, I shall continue to pardon them as long as they ask My forgiveness!"

4.0 MEANS OF EXPIATING SIN

You should note that whoever repents sincerely, Allaah accepts his repentance and Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. He has promised the one who repents to Him that He will forgive him his sins. He says (interpretation of the meaning): “Say: ‘O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful’” [al-Zumar 39:53] 

When Allaah promises something, He does not break His promise. 

And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful. And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allaah with true repentance”[al-Furqaan 25:70-71] 

In this aayah, Allaah tells us that He will replace the bad deeds of the one who repents into good deeds, and this is one of the blessings of repentance. 

The means by which sin is expiated; Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The punishment for sin is lifted from a person by means of ten things: 

1 – Repentance; this is agreed upon among the Muslims. Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings): “Say: ‘O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful’”[al-Zumar 39:53] 

“Know they not that Allaah accepts repentance from His slaves and takes the Sadaqaat (alms, charity), and that Allaah Alone is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful?”[al-Tawbah 9:104] 

“And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves, and forgives sins”[al-Shoora 42:25] 

2 – Praying for forgiveness. It was narrated in al-Saheehayn that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a person commits a sin, then says, ‘O Lord, I have committed a sin so forgive me,’ He says, ‘My slave knows that he has a Lord Who may forgive sins or punish for it; I have forgiven My slave…’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6953; Muslim, 4953) 

In Saheeh Muslim it is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If you did not commit sin, Allaah would do away with you and bring people who would commit sins then ask Him to forgive them, so He would forgive them.” (al-Tawbah, 4936) 

3 – Doing good deeds which wipe out sins. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And perform As‑Salaah (Iqaamat‑as‑ Salaah), at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night [i.e. the five compulsory Salaah (prayers)]. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e. small sins)”[Hood 11:114] 

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The five daily prayers and Jumu’ah (Friday prayers) and Ramadaan take away the bad deeds between one and the next, if you avoid major sins.” (Narrated by Muslim, 344). 

And he said: “Whoever fasts Ramadaan out of faith and the hope of reward, his previous sins will be forgiven.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 37; Muslim, 1268). 

And he said: “Whoever spends the night of Laylat al-Qadr in prayer out of faith and the hope of reward, his previous sins will be forgiven.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1768). 

And he said: “Whoever performs Pilgrimage to this House, and does not behave in an obscene or immoral manner, he will go back free of sin like the day his mother gave birth to him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1690). 

And he said: “The expiation for the fitnah caused to a man by his family, wealth and children is prayer, fasting, enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 494, Muslim, 5150). 

And he said: “Whoever frees a believing slave, for each of (the slave’s) limbs Allaah will free one of his limbs from the Fire…” (Narrated by Muslim, 2777). 

These and similar ahaadeeth are narrated in the books of Saheeh. And he said: “Charity extinguishes sin as water extinguishes fire, but hasad (malicious envy) consumes good deeds as fire consumes wood.” 

4 – The du’aa’ of the believers for the believer, such as when they pray the funeral prayer for him. It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah and Anas ibn Maalik that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no Muslim who dies, and a group of Muslims numbering one hundred pray for him, all of them interceding for him, but their intercession for him will be accepted.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1576). 

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: ‘There is no Muslim man who dies, and forty men pray the funeral prayer for him, not associating anything with Allaah, but Allaah will accept their intercession for him.’” (Narrated by Muslim, 1577). This refers to praying for him after he has died. 

5 – Good deeds which can be done for the deceased, such as giving in charity (on his behalf), etc. This will benefit him, according to the clear, saheeh texts of the Sunnah and the consensus of the Imams. The same applies to freeing slaves and Hajj (on his behalf), indeed it was proven in al-Saheehayn that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever dies owing any (obligatory) fasts, his heir should fast them on his behalf.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5210; Muslim, 4670). 

6 – The intercession of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and others on the Day of Resurrection for those who have committed sins. This is narrated in the mutawaatir ahaadeeth about intercession, such as the hadeeth in which he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “My intercession will be for those among my ummah who have committed major sins.” (Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 3965). And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I was given the choice between admitting half of my ummah to Paradise and intercession, and I chose intercession.” (See Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3335). 

7 – Calamities by means of which Allaah expiates sins in this world. It was narrated in al-Saheehayn that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No tiredness, exhaustion, worry, grief, distress or harm befalls a believer in this world, not even a thorn that pricks him, but Allaah expiates some of his sins thereby.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5210; Muslim, 4670). 

8 – The torment, squeezing and terror that happens in the grave. These are also things by means of which sins are expiated. 

9 – The horrors, distress and hardship of the Day of Resurrection. 

10 – The mercy and forgiveness of Allaah, with no cause on the part of His slaves.  See: Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn Taymiyah, vol. 7, p. 487-501. 

Do you think that Allaah will forgive me? Yes, He will, if you have repented sincerely, for Allaah has promised to accept repentance, the evidence for which we have mentioned above.  Do not despair of Allaah’s mercy. Remember the story of the man who killed one hundred people, then he repented and Allaah accepted his repentance. This is the story as narrated by Imam Muslim in his Saheeh, in Kitaab al-Tawbah (2766): “It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Prophet of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Among the people who came before you there was a man who killed ninety-nine people, then he asked about the most knowledgeable person in the land. He was told about a monk, so he went to him and said, ‘I have killed ninety-nine people, can I repent?’ The monk said, ‘No.’ So he killed him, thus making the number one hundred. Then he asked about the most knowledgeable person in the land, and he was told about a scholar, so he (went to him and) said: ‘I have killed one hundred people. Can I repent?’ He said, ‘Yes, who could stop you from repenting? Go to such and such a land, where there are people who worship Allaah. Worship Allaah with them and do not go back to your own land, for it is a bad land.’ So he set out, and when he was halfway there, death came upon him. The angels of mercy and the angels of punishment argued over him. The angels of mercy said, ‘He was coming repentant, turning with his heart towards Allaah.’ The angels of punishment said, ‘He never did anything good.’ Then an angel came to them in human form and they accepted him as a mediator. He said, ‘Measure the distance between the two lands, and whichever he is closer to is where be belongs.’ So they measured the distance and found that he was closer to the land to which he was headed, so the angels of mercy took him.” 

We learn several things from this hadeeth, including the following: 

1 – That Allaah forgives all the sins of one who repents, no matter how great they are. This is indicated by the aayah in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Say: ‘O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful’”[al-Zumar 39:53] 

2 – The one who repents has to keep away from bad friends who were committing the sin with him. He should keep company with righteous friends who will help him to do good and show him how to do it. We ask Allaah to help us and you and to give us all strength. And Allaah knows best. 

3 – The Muslim must live his life in a state between fear and hope, fearing his sins and not feeling safe from the Plan of Allaah, and not being certain that he will enter Paradise. For the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them), even though they were so righteous and pious, were not like this, rather they feared their Lord and worshipped Him with fear and hope. So the Muslim must obey Allaah and repent and hope for the mercy of Allaah, knowing that Allaah forgives and accepts the repentance of the one who repents to Him, so he hopes that Allaah will forgive him.  He knows that Allaah accepts and loves the righteous deeds of His slave, so he strives to do righteous deeds hoping that they will be accepted. If he lives in this state, fearing his sins and hoping for the mercy of his Lord, he will strive to worship Him and keep away from sin, asking Allaah to reward him for his righteous deeds until he meets Him when He is pleased with him, and he seeks refuge with Allaah from his heart being turned away or his situation changing, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray, “O Controller of the hearts, make my heart steadfast in Your religion.”

In summary would the greatest sins be forgiven if one truly repents?

In Islam, regardless of the enormity or the quantity of major sins one might have committed in one’s past time even if one were guilty of the most heinous of sins, ie. shirk (associating other gods with Allah Subhanah). If one sincerely turns to their Lord Most Gracious in Taubah and seeks sincere repentance for their transgressions, it is expected that they will find their Lord forgiving and Merciful.

As long as one sincerely seeks repentance from their Lord Most Merciful, there is no sin on the face of this earth which the Lord Most Gracious is not willing to forgive His believing and repentant slaves!

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. We ask Allaah to make you and us steadfast in His religion, and bestow more of His bounty upon us, for He is All-Hearing, Ever Near.