Saturday 24 December 2016

AFTER PARENTS’ DEATH – WHAT ARE YOUR DUTIES TO THEM


AFTER PARENTS’ DEATH – WHAT ARE YOUR DUTIES TO THEM?

Masjid Plot 94, Oduduwa Crescent, Phase 2 Site 2, Kubwa, Abuja


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Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah. As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu

Praise be to Allaah; we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

SUMMARY

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Good behaviour towards parents by which one can be courteous to them after their demise are to pray namaz-e-janaza upon them, make dua of forgiveness for them, fulfill their religious bequests, maintain relationship with those relatives linked through them and honour their friends. [Abu Daud] “Charity on their behalf after their death (also) earns reward for them.” [Muslim]

Often we realize the value of something only after it is gone. Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) in His Infinite Grace has provided for us a means to make amends even as late as after the person has already died. This hadith tells us how we can be dutiful to our parents after their death, thereby accruing rewards for both them and ourselves.

These ways are:

1. Pray namz-e-janaza for them.
2. Pray to Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) to forgive them.
3. If they had decided to do some religious good e.g. Hajj or nafl fasts or charitable work, then fulfill it on their behalf.
4. Be kind to those relatives who are linked to us through them.
5. Honour their friends.
6. Give charity on their behalf.

Instead of wailing over our parents, if we truly love them, then we should do good deeds ourselves. This is because we are sadaqa jaariya for our parents and they are rewarded for our righteousness.

 

1.0 WHAT CAN BENEFIT THE DECEASED AFTER HIS DEATH? CAN HE HEAR WHAT THE LIVING SAY?

The principle is that the dead do not hear the words of the living, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "… but you cannot hear those who are in graves." [Holy Quran Chapter Faatir 35:22] and "Verily, you cannot make the dead to hear…" [Holy Quran Chapter al-Naml 27:80].
When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) addressed the slain kuffaar (disbelievers) after the Battle of Badr, Allaah caused them to hear his words, although they were at the bottom of the well in which they had been buried. This was a special case, as the scholars, may Allaah have mercy on them, have stated. (See Al-Aayaat al-Bayyinaat fi ‘adam Samaa’ al-Amwaat).

Perhaps the psychological motive for your wishing that you father could hear you is an attempt to do something to re-establish the communication that has been cut, in order to alleviate the pain you are feeling. But you should understand, that Islam has explained what actions on the part of the living may benefit the dead, and what may reach them in their graves. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three: sadaqah jaariyah (ongoing charity, e.g. a waqf or endowment), beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind), or a righteous child who will pray for him." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no 1376; he said this is a saheeh hasan hadeeth)

The most important thing that will benefit your father or mother after death, and that you can do for them now that he is in his grave, is to strive to pray for him and ask for forgiveness and mercy for him, and for Paradise and salvation from the Fire, and other good and beautiful du’aa’s (prayers).

Prayers for forgiveness offered by both sons and daughters of the deceased bring great benefits, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A man’s status will be raised in Paradise and he will ask, ‘How did I get here?’ He will be told, ‘By your son’s du’aa’s (prayers) for forgiveness for you." (Reported by Ibn Maajah, no 3660; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1617)

Another thing that may reach the deceased is sadaqah (charity) given on his behalf, because ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) reported that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "My mother has passed away, and if she could have spoken, she would have given something in charity. Will she receive a reward if I give something on her behalf?" He said, "Yes." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 1388)

Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that the mother of Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) died when he was away from her. He said: "O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died and I am away from her. Will it benefit her anything if I give in charity on her behalf?" He said, "Yes." He said, "Then I ask you to be my witness that I am giving my garden al-Mikhraaf (so called because it bore so many dates) in charity on her behalf." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 2756)

Abu Hurayrah reported that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "My father has died and left money behind. He did not make a wasiyyah (a will); will it expiate for his sins if I give some of it in charity on his behalf?" He said, "Yes." (Reported by al-Nisaa’i)

Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah said: "I said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died. Should I give charity on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ I asked, ‘What kind of charity is best?’ He said, ‘Providing water.’" (Reported by al-Nisaa’i)

Other deeds that may also benefit the deceased are Hajj and ‘Umrah on their behalf, after the living person has first performed Hajj and ‘Umrah on his or her own behalf.

‘Abdullaah ibn Buraydah reported that his father (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "While I was sitting with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a woman came to him and said: ‘I gave my mother a slave-woman in charity, and now my mother has died.’ He said: ‘You have got your reward, and your right of inheritance has brought your gift back to you.’ She said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, she still had one month to fast – can I fast it on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Fast it on her behalf.’ She said, ‘She never went to Hajj – can I perform Hajj on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Perform Hajj on her behalf.’" (Reported by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, no. 1149)

This shows that it is also permissible to fast on behalf of the deceased.
Another thing that may benefit the deceased is to fulfil their nadhr (vow), because Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that a woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: "My mother made a vow to perform Hajj but she died before she could do it. Can I perform Hajj on her behalf?" He said, "Yes, perform Hajj on her behalf. Don’t you think that if your mother owed a debt you would pay it off?" She said, "Yes." He said, "Then pay off what is owed to Allaah, for Allaah is more deserving of having vows fulfilled." (al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 7315)

Another thing that may benefit the deceased is if his relative devotes a share to him of a sacrifice he offers. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) offered a sacrifice, he said: "In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, on behalf of Muhammad and the family of Muhammad" (reported by Muslim, no. 1967) – and the family of Muhammad included both the living and the dead.

You should also know that keeping yourself busy with praying for your father or mother is more important and better for you, and more beneficial to the deceased, than thinking about whether he can hear your voice. So try to do whatever will be of benefit both to him and you. You and your family should avoid forbidden innovations (bid’ah) such as marking the fortieth day after death, or the passing of one year since the death, or gatherings for reciting al-Faatihah (the first chapter or soorah of the Qur’aan), doing forbidden acts at graves, and so on, deeds which are done by those who are ignorant and are imitated by others.
I ask Allaah to forgive your father and have mercy on him and on all the deceased Muslims, for He is the Forgiving, Most Merciful.

2.0 HOW CHILDREN CAN HONOUR THEIR PARENTS

The rights of parents over their children may be summed up as treating them well in all matters, and behaving with them kindly as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Ahqaaf 46:15] 

“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents”[ Holy Quran Chapter al-‘Ankaboot 29:8] 

“but behave with them in the world kindly”[ Holy Quran Chapter Luqmaan 31:15] 

Shaykh al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “be dutiful and kind to parents” means: treat them kindly in all ways, in word and in deed.  Tafseer al-Sa’di, p. 524. 

One of the most important acts of worship that the child is asked to do with regard to his parents is to obey them, to do as they ask and to refrain from what they tell him not to do. So if his father tells him to do something, he hastens to do what he is told, and if he tells him not to do something, he hastens to give it up, so long as that does not involve any disobedience towards Allaah and his Messenger, because there is no obedience to any created being if itinvolves disobedience towards the Creator. 

Then he can make du’aa’ for them and pray for forgiveness for them, especially when they grow old and weak and are in need of someone to treat them kindly and take care of their needs. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.  And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Isra’ 17:23-24] 

Allaah has given examples in His Book of kind treatment of parents. Allaah says of His slave Yahya ibn Zakariyya: 

“(It was said to his son): ‘O Yahya (John)! Hold fast the Scripture [the Tawraat (Torah)].’ And We gave him wisdom while yet a child. And (made him) sympathetic to men as a mercy (or a grant) from Us, and pure from sins [i.e. Yahya (John)] and he was righteous,  And dutiful towards his parents, and he was neither arrogant nor disobedient (to Allaah or to his parents).  And Salaam (peace) be on him the day he was born, and the day he dies, and the day he will be raised up to life (again)!” [Holy Quran Chapter Maryam 19:12-15] 

Ibn Jareer al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Here Allaah says: “And dutiful towards his parents” meaning that he was quick to obey them, loving towards them, and not disobedient. 

and he was neither arrogant nor disobedient” – here Allaah tells us that he was not too proud to obey Allaah or his parents, rather he was humble and submissive towards Allaah and his parents, doing what he was commanded to and avoiding what was forbidden to him; he neither disobeyed his Lord nor his parents. Tafseer al-Tabari, 16/58 

And Allaah said of His slave ‘Eesa ibn Maryam (interpretation of the meaning): 

“He [‘Eesa (Jesus)] said: ‘Verily, I am a slave of Allaah, He has given me the Scripture and made me a Prophet;  And He has made me blessed wheresoever I be, and has enjoined on me Salaah (prayer), and Zakaah, as long as I live.”  And dutiful to my mother, and made me not arrogant, unblest’” [Holy Quran Chapter Maryam 19:30-32] 

Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The words “And dutiful to my mother” mean: and He has commanded me to be dutiful to my mother. This is mentioned after obedience to his Lord, because Allaah often mentions the command to worship him and to be dutiful to one’s parents together, as in the verses where He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Isra’ 17:23] 

“give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination”[ Holy Quran Chapter Luqmaan 31:14] 

And the words “and made me not arrogant, unblest’” mean, He has not made me arrogant and too proud to worship and obey Him and to honour my mother, and thus be doomed as a result of that. Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/121 

As for after the parents have died, the child can do many things, such as the following: 

1 – If he has wealth, and his parents were in debt, he can discharge their duty by paying off the debt for them. 

2 – If he has wealth and his parents had not performed Hajj, he may perform Hajj on their behalf, or pay for someone else to perform Hajj on their behalf. 

3 – He may pray for forgiveness for them and pray for mercy for them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):   

“and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Isra’ 17:24] 

Shaykh Ibn Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: this means, pray for mercy for them, when they are alive and after they die. Tafseer al-Sa’di, p. 524 

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man may be raised in status in Paradise and will say, Where did this come from? And it will be said: From your son’s praying for forgiveness for you.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 3660; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 1617. This applies if the child has reached the age of discernment and is able to earn money. But if the child is young and does not yet understand things, then these words do not apply in his case. 

An example of how the righteous salaf honoured their parents is that of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him): 

It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Dinaar from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar that a man from among the Bedouins met him on the road to Makkah. ‘Abd-Allaah greeted him with salaam, seated him on the donkey that he was riding and gave him a turban that he had been wearing on his head. Ibn Dinar said: We said to him: May Allaah guide you, they are just Bedouins and they would be content with little. ‘Abd-Allaah said: The father of this man was a friend of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab and I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “The best act of kindness is for the son to uphold ties (of friendship) with those who were his father’s friends.” Narrated by Muslim, 2552. 

According to another report narrated by Ibn ‘Umar: when he went out to Makkah, he had a donkey which he would ride when he got tired of riding his camel, and a turban which he tied around his head. One day whilst he was riding that donkey, a Bedouin passed by him. He said: Are you not So and so, the son of So and so? He said: Yes. He gave him the donkey that he was riding and said: Ride it. And he gave him the turban that he had been wearing on his head, and he said: Tie it around your head. Some of his companions said: May Allaah forgive you, you have given this Bedouin a donkey that you used to ride when you got tired of riding your camel and a turban that you used to wear on your head. He said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “The best act of kind of kindness is for a man to honour his father’s friend after he has died,” and (this man’s) father was a friend of ‘Umar. 

Abu Hurayrah was appointed in charge of Madeenah by Marwaan. He lived in Dhu’l-Hulayfah (approximately ten kilometers from Madeenah) and his mother lived in one house and he lived in another. When he wanted to go out he would stand at her door, and say: Peace be upon you, O my mother, and the mercy of Allaah and His blessings. And she would say: And upon you, O my son, and the mercy of Allaah and His blessings. And he would say: May Allaah have mercy on you, as you brought me up when I was young. And she would say: May Allaah have mercy on you as you took care of me when I grew old. Then when he wanted to come in, he would do likewise. 

3.0 BENEFITTING THE DECEASED BY GIVING CHARITY ON HIS BEHALF

The scholars are agreed that the benefits of du’aa’, praying for forgiveness, giving charity and Hajj reach the deceased. 

With regard to du’aa’ and praying for forgiveness, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And those who came after them say: ‘Our Lord! Forgive us and our brethren who have preceded us in Faith’”[ Holy Quran Chapter al-Hashr 59:10] 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Pray for forgiveness for your brother and ask that he be made steadfast, for now he is being questioned.” 

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When you offer the (funeral) prayer for the deceased, then make du’aa’ sincerely for him.”  

With regard to charity, it was narrated in al-Saheehayn from ‘Aa’ishah that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “My mother died suddenly and she did not leave a will, but I think that if she could have spoken she would have given in charity. Will she have a reward if I give in charity on her behalf?” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Yes.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 1388; Muslim, no. 1004.  

And it was narrated by al-Bukhaari from Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah that his mother died when he was absent, and he said: “O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died when I was absent. Will it benefit her if I give in charity on her behalf?” He said: “Yes.” He said: “I ask you to bear witness that my garden that bears fruit is given in charity on her behalf.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2756. 

With regard to Hajj, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to one who asked him about Hajj: “Don’t you think that if your mother had a debt, you would pay it off for her?” She said: “Yes.” He said: “A debt owed to Allaah is more deserving of being paid off.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6699; Muslim, 1148. 

From the above you will know that giving charity on behalf of the deceased will benefit him and its reward will reach him. 

There is a da’eef (weak) hadeeth about offering prayer on behalf of the dead. Imam Muslim mentioned in his introduction to his Saheeh that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Mubaarak regarded this hadeeth as weak, then he said: 

There is no difference of opinion concerning giving charity (i.e., on behalf of the dead). End quote. 

Al-Nawawi said: 

His words “There is no difference of opinion concerning giving charity (i.e., on behalf of the dead)” means that this hadeeth is not to be taken as evidence. But whoever wants to honour his parents, let him give charity on their behalf, for (the reward of) charity will reach the deceased and benefit them, and there is no difference of opinion among the Muslims concerning this point. This is the correct view. With regard to the report narrated by the qaadi Abu’l-Hasan al-Maawardi al-Basri al-Faqeeh al-Shaafa’i in his book al-Haawi from some of the scholars of al-kalaam, that no reward can reach the deceased after his death, this is a view that is definitely wrong and is clearly contrary to the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah and the consensus of the ummah, so no attention should be paid to it. With regard to praying and fasting on behalf of the dead, the view of al-Shaafa’i and the majority of the scholars is that the reward for that does not reach the deceased, unless it is a fast that was obligatory for the deceased, so his heir or someone to whom the heir gives permission makes it up on his behalf. Two views concerning this were narrated from al-Shaafa’i, the better known of which is that it is not valid; the more correct view according to the later Shaafa’i scholars is that it is valid. 

With regard to reading Qur’aan, the well-known view of the Shaafa’i madhhab is that the reward for that does not reach the deceased. Some of his companions said that its reward does reach the deceased. Some of the scholars were of the view that the reward of all acts of worship – prayer, fasting, reading Qur’aan, etc – reaches the deceased… Then al-Nawawi mentioned that the reward for du’aa’, charity and Hajj reaches the deceased, according to scholarly consensus. End quote. 

It says in Tuhfat al-Muhtaaj (7/72): The deceased can benefit from charity given on his behalf, which includes a waqf of a Mus-haf etc, or digging a well, or planting a tree, whether he does that during his lifetime or it is done by someone else on his behalf after his death. 

With regard to the best ways of benefiting your father, you should make a lot of du’aa’ for him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” [Holy Quran Chapter al-Isra’ 17:24] 

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When a person dies, all his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, or beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who will pray for him.”  

With regard to charity, the best things on which charity may be spent are jihad for the sake of Allaah, building mosques, and helping seekers of knowledge by printing books for them or giving them money that they need.



Settlements of Debts after Death Punishment

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 58: Allah doth command you to render back your trusts to those to whom they are due; and when ye judge between man and man that ye judge with justice: Verily, how excellent is the teaching which He giveth you! for Allah is He who heareth and seeth all things.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 12: In what your wives leave your share is a half if they leave no child; but if they leave a child ye get a fourth; after payment of legacies and debts. In what ye leave their share is a fourth if ye leave no child; but if ye leave a child they get an eighth; after payment of legacies and debts. If the man or woman whose inheritance is in question has left neither ascendants nor descendants but has left a brother or a sister each one of the two gets a sixth; but if more than two they share in a third; after payment of legacies and debts; so that no loss is caused (to anyone). Thus is it ordained by Allah and Allah is All-Knowing Most Forbearing.

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: "A believer's soul remains in suspense (cannot enter Paradise) until all his debts are paid off." (Related by Ahmad, Ibn Majah, and Tirmidhi.)

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2929, Narrated by Muhammad ibn Abdullah ibn Jahsh, The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: By Him in whose hand Muhammad's soul is, if a man were to be killed in Allah's path then come to life, be killed again in Allah's path then come to life, and be killed once more in Allah's path then come to life owing a debt, he would not enter Paradise till his debt was paid." Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.585           

Narrated by Abu Huraira, The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said, "Procrastination (delay) in repaying debts by a wealthy person is injustice."

The payment of debt is a right that one has to deliver to the person who gave the debt, and it must be settled. If the person who took the debt dies, then the first thing that will be paid out of his wealth will be the debts, and only after the payment of the debts will his wealth be distributed among his heirs.

If one takes on a debt and tries his best to repay the debt, but dies before settling his debt and has left behind no wealth, Allah Subhanah will pay the debt on his behalf on the Day of Judgement.

Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (SAW) said: "If anyone takes other people's money with the intention to repay it and then he or she should die without settling the debt, Allah will pay the debt on his behalf. And if anyone takes money or property (of others) with the intention of destroying it, Allah will destroy him." (Related by Bukhari)

But if one takes on a debt and has no intention or bothers to pay it back, and dies before settling his debt and has left no wealth behind, he will have to settle the debt on the Day of Judgement in the currency of the Hereafter! And the currency of the Hereafter is deeds: thus he will have to pay his good deeds to the person he owed the debt to, and if he does not have enough good deeds to pay, he will take on the evil deeds of the person he owed the debt to, and will be thrown in the Hell Fire as a result! Sahih Muslim Hadith 6251

Narrated by Abu Hurayrah, The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: Do you know who is a muflis? They (the Companions of the Prophet) said: A poor man amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth. The Prophet (SAW) said: The muflis (ardently poor) of my Ummah would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers, and fasts, and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others, and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others, and shed the blood of others, and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then the sins of the one who suffered at his hands would be entered in (his account), and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

SOURCES




https://islamqa.info/en/42384

http://www.islamhelpline.net/node/745

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